Sorry about all these short messages!
There is a record of an Alexander Plenderleith sailing from Glasgow to New York aboard 'Commodore'. (Date of arrival in NY, 3rd July 1849)
Very little detail as it's just a passenger list, but this might explain why he wasn't with the family in 1851?
His age is listed as 34 (born c1815) and occupation listed as Labourer
I can't see mum Eliza(beth) or any of the children in 1861, but son Adam (and wife Jessie) can be found in 1871, 1881 & 1891 living in Glasgow with their expanding family.
Anne