None of my DNA matches have ever contacted me

[Zaphod99]

I had my DNA tested with Ancestry and My Heritage eight or nine years ago and I have been diligently contacting my matches, usually with a good reply response rate as I write nice letters to them.

None of my matches have ever initially contacted me which just seems odd and I just wondered if anybody had any theories about this.

Obviously, because I've contacted my 20 or 30 highest matches, I don't expect to hear from them unexpectedly but it just seems a little bit odd that I've never heard from a single other one.  Needless to say I have checked all my settings and there is no technical reason why people should not have been able to contact me.

Zaph

[BarbW]

I tested on Ancestry only in March 2024.  Nobody has ever contacted me either except for one very distant match to a young man who was trying to find the birth parents of his mother who was adopted.

I have contacted quite a few people and it's been a bit hit and miss with the replies just like when you contact someone with an Ancestry family tree connection. 

[Zaphod99]

As I said in my initial comment, I get a good response to my contact attempts, because I write interesting, literate and polite emails. When I see, from various other forums, what some people actually do to try and contact their matches, it's hardly surprising that they don't get replies. It's so important to be polite, and interesting. Just saying, "how are you related to me?' isn't going to get a reply.

I also think it's very important to write a contact letter that is literate and correctly spelled. If you get some gibberish from somebody, you're going to think that's how efficiently they research their own family tree.

Thank you for replying.

Zaph

[Murrell]

Hi  My experience of requesting details are some folk reply promptly  one person two years!
I have been very lucky with support being given tips & advice.

[Jebber]

You may just have been unlucky, I think you will find that a lot of people are not interested in family relationships, they are only interested in finding their ethnicity.

  I have only ever been contacted by one person who had been adopted and was looking for their birth family who were distant  relative I knew of but have never met.

[Zaphod99]

I must have been unlucky 17,000 times. I really find it very very odd that I haven't been proactively contacted by even one of my matches when I do it so enthusiastically and successfully the other way.

I did just check all my settings on both sites, and   found all of them perfect for making it easier for people to contact me if they so wish.

Zaph

[ptdrifter]

Hi Zaph
It's the same for me, not one match has made initial contact.

[Zaphod99]

Ptdrifter, over what length of time is that? Do you have any theories why nobody contacts you?

I've thought about this for a long time and it's always surprised me that the subject has never come up on anything that I have ever read.

My ethnicity is fairly typical UK with bits of Scandinavia and northwest Europe. I have many DNA matches in the UK, as well as twice as many in the United States. There's nothing remarkable about my list at all.

Zaph

[ptdrifter]

Zaph.
I think it's been 15 years or more.
I did hear that people are more likely to message you if you have a photo on your profile but I tried that and no difference. It's the same on other DNA sites , the only person who ever made contact was a half 1st cousin on Genes Reunited years ago.