Another baby swap

[LizzieL]

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c4gexw7l7rwo

[bearkat]

It's an interesting read and raises the dilemma of whether you should tell.  I'm not sure what I'd have done. Is ignorance bliss or do they have a 'right' to be told?

[Andy J2022]

When you think about it, if you don't tell the person who was swapped at birth, all of his descendants will be living with a misapprehension about that part of their family. It is a similar scenario to adoption. These days adopted children have the right to obtain details about their birth parents, but this assumes that they have been told that they are adopted.

However with a swap at birth there are two individuals involved, and so if one is told and comes looking for their birth parents, the other will inevitably have to be told.

Obviously in the case in the report, the man concerned has already died, but If it is decided to tell another person in a similiar situation, then it should be handled with sensitivity, and possibly counselling.

[Biggles50]

Sort of partly my own DNA journey but in my case half my DNA matches were unknowns.

Without going into detail, I am the product of an affair, with the Father listed on my birth certificate was not my Biological Father.  You can imaging what I have been going through since I found this out.

There are Pros and Cons to both sides of the Do I Tell / Do I Not Tell scenarios.

To me it depends upon the individuals concerned.

All it takes is for a DNA test to be given to one of the descendants and then everything comes out.

If the I Do Not Tell is chosen then personally I would be tempted to right chapter and verse on the matter explaining the DNA test results and the inevitable conclusions.  I would then leave the document with the Solicitor holding the Will with the instruction to strongly suggest that the document is only opened after it being studied by a Councillor trained in the emotional turmoil that will result in finding ones past is not what one thought it was.

If the results are shared then who knows the outcome.

[4b2]

Obviously people will take these things differently.

I was always a bit surprised that people often didn't tell their adopted child that they were adopted. Leaving it to later life and a big dilemma. It doesn't make any sense to me. Young children don't have much concept of relationships and are receptacles. It seems much more logical to me to tell them from they are young they are adopted. It will just be normal for them and they are unlikely to think differently about anything due to it.

Last year there was a story in which I think someone stopped speaking to their biological parents after a DNA test showed they were swapped at birth.

You never know how people may respond. On 23AndMe, I found one of my great-uncles had had a child out of wedlock, and she was among the matches as a 1st cousin of my aunt. I contacted her and sent her scant info. Never heard back. Maybe she didn't care, maybe she didn't want to know, maybe she wants to avoid it. Who knows?