DNA is this relationship possible

[mitch7532]

I am an adoptee. My Father is not named on the Birth certificate though there is a vague description of him on the adoption paperwork. I am not interested at this point in making any contact, this is solely for research purposes, including researching the fact that I am a low DNA match to my adoptive Mother, though we don't know where. My Birth Mother was under 14 when I was conceived and the adoption society suggested my Birth was the result of something that happened at a party. The vague Father description indicates a person of a similar age, rather than an Adult with all the possible ramifications of that.

It has been suggested that as 85% of my matches are unassigned and those that are assigned create anomalies that my Birth Parents are very distantly related. For example my highest DNA match on Ancestry assigned as paternal, is 118cM, but is easily traced as being on my Maternal side.

My highest DNA match is 401cM over 12 segments and is unassigned. There is no link to my Maternal side on that tree so it must be on my Paternal side. The match states that the connection is on their own Maternal side. Looking at the Maternal Grandmother the unusual surname does not crop up in any of my matches trees above 7cM. So the connection must be the Maternal Grandfathers side, some of the surnames going back do crop up in my other matches in the 50-90cM range. If the connection is a Maternal Uncle of my match the connection to the match would be 1st Cousin, but a range of 396-1397 with an average of 866 for first cousin puts the 401 at the rather low end, plus the Uncle would have been too old to have been my birth Father in my opinion.

If I then look at the matches Maternal Grandfathers Siblings. One is a half Sister, same Mother but different Father, no DNA matches to me there. There is a half Brother, same Father, different Mother. There are two Sons of that half Brother. One is married at the time of my Birth and too old. The other Son is 9 months older than my birth Mother. IF he is my Birth Father then the relationship to my DNA match would be Half 2nd Cousin. A half 2nd Cousin has a match of 10-325 with an average of 120. My 401 match seems high. BUT could the match be higher because there is some DNA inherited from the Maternal side as well as the Paternal side which would bump up the numbers above the standard for a single side match as its a Both sides match potentially??

My problem is I am struggling to find other males of around the right age who could be related to both of us to make a decent DNA match of 401cM.

Any thoughts/comments/criticisms/suggestions welcome, apologies for the post length, I have tried to keep it simple.... Thanks!

[LizzieL]

Have you uploaded your DNA data to Gedmatch? They have a free tool which can work out if your parents are related. Also this blog might be of interest.

https://blog.kittycooper.com/2018/07/when-the-dna-says-your-parents-are-related/

[mitch7532]

Yes my Data is on Gedmatch and The analysis indicates that my parents may be distantly related. 12.5cM is the only segment over 7cM. Possibly 3rd or 4th Cousins then.

[familydar]

Not a quick shortcut, but working at it methodically I'd build your birth mother's tree back and bring each generation's offspring forward.  This can be pretty daunting, because you will end up with a tree of several hundred people.  I'd suggest dealing with your birth mother's siblings first, then her parents' siblings, then her grandparents' siblings, etc.  That way it's easier to keep track of where you are.  And it sounds as if you may already have ruled out some lines, although don't get fixated on surnames, it's usual in England at least for women to take their husband's name on marriage.

It's not something you'll manage in a weekend.  It's time-consuming, particularly if your ancestors had big families, but you are ultimately looking for a male of a similar age to your birth mother in the right sort of area.  Whenever you stumble across one, see if they or their parents or grandparents feature in any of your DNA match trees.

If your birth parents were 4th cousins then they shared 3xG GPs, that couple will be your 4xG GPs but don't worry about that initially.  If you don't trip over an inter-cousin marriage along the way, you will have 32 4xG GPs, and if you're really unlucky you will have worked through 31 of them before the 32nd brings a result!  It is do-able but it will take time.

Best of luck
Jane

[mitch7532]

Yes I have a comprehensive tree for my Birth Mother and a fairly good tree for the person who MIGHT be my Birth Father.
I have a feeling that the connection between my Birth Parents Families is my Birth Mothers Grandfather born 1903, illegitimately. I'm presuming his Father is one of the Brothers of my direct ancestors on my Paternal Side. Unfortunately there are an AWFUL lot of potential candidates!
That one may never be solved.....

[Glen in Tinsel Kni]

Once beyond h2c1r and 3c the chance of sharing dna with relatives starts to drop away and I feel that is one of the big issues here. With technology as it stands you may never get a full picture of who does and doesn't match to each other and it will be a bot of a Swiss cheese result. Even the more detailed test methods are of limited use given the limited uptake and instances when the gender of the ancestors is not consistent throughout.

[brigidmac]

Build your adopted mother's tree too as there is a connection somewhere

If somewhere along the line your birth fathers ancestor.married or conceived with your birth mothers ancestors you will have a double relationship
So he could well be half 2nd cousin on  one side plus some other relationship to other bio relationship
As you theorised in your first post
I would definitely build a separate tree or a floating branch with him as your possible birthfather keep as living or non gender specific so he doesn't show publicly

I mark any distant ancestors with Asterixes in the suffix box for every child whose descendants  there is a DNA match to+   tag DNA connection to their child / grandchild who the DNA match descends from

Is that explanation clear ?

[mitch7532]

Thanks, yes I have a very comprehensive tree for my adopted family as that is where I started 25 years ago. There are a number of possible areas where my birth and adopted families overlap.
The most annoying factor is a DNA match in Tasmania. He matches to BOTH myself and my adopted Mother. Despite apparently being active on his Ancestry account he hasn't replied to any contact I have made.

[brigidmac]

Having recently  identified a 3rd cousins birth father and having reread your original post  I would say don't rule out the married man who is too old (!who gave the description+ under what circumstances ? )

Possibly add a.hypothetical much younger half brother to your maternal uncle give him surname ,"DNA connection ' + have him as father to your top match . Living people  won't show on trees but thru lines will show up to you and it will be easier to assess connection

Half first cousin is more likely with those numbers

( My.mother has a half first cousin who is 20 years younger than his half siblings from a second marriage)

I would also suggest grouping your matches by location .
Can you match other relatives to Tasmania or other significant places

Good luck it's a slow process but as more matches come in you may get nearer the answer