Trying to communicate on Ancestry

[Glen in Tinsel Kni]

Not quite in keeping with the original question but I've had it pretty bad with messages this year so I'm letting off a bit of steam.

My tally this year exceeds 40 messages simply asking which parent I link through (and offer to help work it out if needed), that have been read but had no reply. I repeat the message 4 weeks later and if that is read and not replied too the 'once is a mistake but  twice is a choice' mode kicks in. I wait another four weeks to give them chance to reply and then ask if they were born ignorant or are honing their skills on me. Over three quarters have replied to that one so I guess I have my answer.

[crazydaizy]

Not quite in keeping with the original question but I've had it pretty bad with messages this year so I'm letting off a bit of steam.

My tally this year exceeds 40 messages simply asking which parent I link through (and offer to help work it out if needed), that have been read but had no reply. I repeat the message 4 weeks later and if that is read and not replied too the 'once is a mistake but  twice is a choice' mode kicks in. I wait another four weeks to give them chance to reply and then ask if they were born ignorant or are honing their skills on me. Over three quarters have replied to that one so I guess I have my answer.

It's frustrating isn't it.  I keep my Family Trees "private" anyway, else any Tom Dick and Harry can look at it without making any contact at all.  However, I'm glad some don't keep theirs private else I'd never find anything out! Though I do message them if we have a link, and some do reply, but not always helpful with their responses. 

[Raybistre]

I don't always notice messages right away on Ancestry and Familysearch so there may be some delay before they get answered. Could do with a big flashing light or a message across the screen "YOU HAVE MAIL". I've not been on Ancestry long and have had 2 messages, both of which I have replied to. I did expect replies in return but nothing has arrived. I find this discouraging but I will continue to reply to messages. I must remember that not everybody has the same enthusiasm as I have regarding family history and maybe its not very high on their list of priorities.
Ray

[crazydaizy]

I don't always notice messages right away on Ancestry and Familysearch so there may be some delay before they get answered. Could do with a big flashing light or a message across the screen "YOU HAVE MAIL". I've not been on Ancestry long and have had 2 messages, both of which I have replied to. I did expect replies in return but nothing has arrived. I find this discouraging but I will continue to reply to messages. I must remember that not everybody has the same enthusiasm as I have regarding family history and maybe its not very high on their list of priorities.
Ray

Yes, a big flashing light would be helpful I dip in and out of family tree research, I can go months without doing it, then I'll re-subscribe to Ancestry and delve right back into it and be addicted again.  There's always something else to find out etc.  However, even during my non-research moments, I'd still look out for messages and reply to them!  Not everyone's the same I agree.

[JessiT]

I've been researching my family for quite a long time although I am quite new to this group . The one thing above all else that i would say about contacting people is make your contacts extremely polite, extremely friendly, and extremely interesting. if you don't hear after 2-3 months try again. If somebody was busy or going through some sort of life crisis, try again. My biggest problem is that i'm in contact with so many distant people that I find it very time consuming. It gets to the stage where I become friendly with people and get onto topics outside of family research, including things like personal holidays, work and family life. I even  had one second cousin who cut me off just because I didn't contact her often enough.

Jessi

[SouthseaSteel]

It doesnt help that the Ancestry messenger service is so clunky and as people have already said, not all mesages are notified by email.

I always smile at the people who profess to want to help as much as possible in their Ancestry description and demand that others do so likewise and then keep all their trees private and dont respond to anything!!!   

[Zaphod99]

I've just had a really nice response to an email that I sent in February to somebody who had a couple of my family names in his tree.  He apologised for not having replied sooner but he had recently been bereaved at the time of my earlier email. I wrote to him on the off chance because he had two of my family names in his tree. today he explained how he has those names, and we are currently trying to work out if we are connected. I think the moral of this is that you should always keep trying, never write anything remotely unpleasant and always be optimistic. Even in this fairly dedicated and responsible forum I am amazed at the tone with which some people respond to others. BE nice to people.

Zaph