Where do I begin to find my grandad?

[CaroleW]

So your grandmother was married but had an affair while her husband was serving in WW2.  I am guessing her husband was in no doubt that he wasn't the biological father but brought her up as his own.   

I have an identical situation in my own FH - my uncle fathered a child to a married woman while he was based at Fulwood barracks & her husband was serving abroad.  Howver - my uncle was born in Liverpool.   "Joe" could have been born anywhere but just based in or around Nelson.

I'm not fully au fait with all the DNA procedures but my uncles past came to light when his granddaughter in Australia did her DNA & presumably made the results publicly available???  She was contacted by the grandson of the illegitimate son & the "skeletons came out of the closet" as they say.

Did your mother ever have any contact with Joe?   

See reply 3 - What do the DNA results indicate?

[coombs]

War times did see a boom in infidelity sadly. Husbands serving abroad for months or years, and no guarantee they would return home.

[AngelaF67]

Presume your mother was illegitimate & that her birth cert only has her mothers details - is that correct?

Was she adopted or did her mother marry the man you thought was your grandfather?

If she was adopted - has she applied for her adoption records?

My mum knew that her real dad was called Jo Hayes/ Heys or Haynes who lived in Briercliffe, Lancashire

How did she know?   Did she ever have any contact with him or is that just what she was told?

I got my mum to take an Ancestry DNA test in the hope that I might trace that side of the family but I’ve no clue how to even start looking.

Without knowing what the results were it's impossible to give any advice

Mum wasn’t adopted by my grandad but he brought mum up as his own.

Mum met her real dads son one time and tried to introduce herself, he was very rude and told her “ I know who YOU are, stay away from my dad and my family”, guess he was worried mum would steal his dad or something.

Also my grandma told mum that Joe was her dad, he asked grandma to run away with him but she refused. I have part of a love letter from him to my grandma but it just confirms his name was Joe and that he loved my grandma it was posted in Nelson which I thought strange as he was on duty whilst writing the letter, it’s a shame the rest perished before I got it.

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to explain the DNA bit for me, I have added Joe as mum’s biological father but got no hints yet but that’s probably as I’ve only added his name.

I will follow the advice given and take a look at the paternal matches to see if there is a Heys/Hayes/ Haynes and I’ll add a possible birth year for Joe to see what hints will find and I’ll also compare the Shared Matches.

All this will keep me busy for a while, thank you everyone, I really appreciate the help.

Angela x

[AngelaF67]

So your grandmother was married but had an affair while her husband was serving in WW2.  I am guessing her husband was in no doubt that he wasn't the biological father but brought her up as his own.   

I have an identical situation in my own FH - my uncle fathered a child to a married woman while he was based at Fulwood barracks & her husband was serving abroad.  Howver - my uncle was born in Liverpool.   "Joe" could have been born anywhere but just based in or around Nelson.

I'm not fully au fait with all the DNA procedures but my uncles past came to light when his granddaughter in Australia did her DNA & presumably made the results publicly available???  She was contacted by the grandson of the illegitimate son & the "skeletons came out of the closet" as they say.

Did your mother ever have any contact with Joe?   

See reply 3 - What do the DNA results indicate?

Thank you Carole I’m hoping that someone will contact me, it would be great to be able to tell my mum I’ve found her family before it’s too late.

Angela x

[AngelaF67]

So it turns out that the man who was my grandad isn’t my biological grandad. My mum knew that her real dad was called Jo Hayes/ Heys or Haynes who lived in Briercliffe, Lancashire and that’s it.

Have your Mum's matches been divided into Parent 1 and Parent 2? It takes 3 or 4 months after you initially get your test. This is using a new technology called SideView, and is very useful for those who have an unknown parent
https://whoareyoumadeof.com/blog/ancestry-sideview-understand-your-results/

Once you are sure which parent is which, you can set all Parent 1 or 2 as maternal or paternal matches.
https://support.ancestry.co.uk/s/article/DNA-Matches-Split-Up-By-Parent

Once you have done that, you should start to go through your Mum's paternal matches, and look for surnames in common in their trees. You can also look at the shared matches. Initially you can put them all in a Grandpa group 1, 2 etc. If you work out they connect on a specific family you can rename the group to say 'Grandpa - Smith' or 'Grandpa - Smith & Jones'.

https://www.familysearch.org/en/wiki/Find_Your_Unknown_Father_using_DNA
https://www.yourdnaguide.com/ydgblog/dna-testing-to-identify-a-birth-father-or-birth-mother

Brilliant thank you very much Angela x

[Biggles50]

I would start on Ancestry build a tree of Two, your Mum and her Mum.

Then link her DNA results to her and wait a few days.

Then go into Ancestry and look at her DNA Matches.

If you Mum’s biological Father’s other offspring have tested they will show up as a high cM match.

Go to the DNA Painter website > tools > shared cM project tool & enter each of the presented cM values, the tool shows the probability of different relationships.

A half sibling of your Mum will be about 1800cM

A half Niece / Nephew about 900cM

A half great Niece / Nephew about 450cM

Do come back if needed.

[AngelaF67]

I would start on Ancestry build a tree of Two, your Mum and her Mum.

Then link her DNA results to her and wait a few days.

Then go into Ancestry and look at her DNA Matches.

If you Mum’s biological Father’s other offspring have tested they will show up as a high cM match.

Go to the DNA Painter website > tools > shared cM project tool & enter each of the presented cM values, the tool shows the probability of different relationships.

A half sibling of your Mum will be about 1800cM

A half Niece / Nephew about 900cM

A half great Niece / Nephew about 450cM

Do come back if needed.

Thank you Biggles that’s really helpful 😁

Angela x

[Biggles50]

You are welcome Angela.

If you have not read the thread linked below please do so, I did quite a write up on practical usage of a DNA test.

https://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php?topic=863488.0

[heywood]

If you have access to 1939 register, there is a person of that name living in Brierfield. He is a widower.

There is a Family Tree too which has a photo and shows a death for him in 1956. It might be worth looking at. I searched Jos* Hay* and it brings up options.