How to reconcile with the past?

[DianaCanada]

Throughout history human beings have enslaved each other, people of the same race and people of different races. The Vikings did it, North American Indigenous peoples did it, Africans enslaved each other, the British/Spanish/Portuguese/French enslaved Africans. Who built the pyramids? Slaves.
I am in no way condoning slavery, but it has existed for many thousands of years.  My children have slave owners amongst their New England ancestors, but I don’t feel they are tainted.
Several of my family members were the victims of nasty crimes, and I am sure somewhere there are a few nasty characters directly related to me.  When I find the, I will have to come to terms.

My mother was born to a young single mother.  She did nothing wrong, but suffered due to societal attitudes when she was a child.  The descendants are innocent.

[coombs]

We always will find .... a shotgun wedding, but the huge amount of pregnant brides in the 1700s and 1800s, and earlier and later, shows bridal pregnancy was actually very, very common.

Well, these days pregnancy is also pretty common (though perhaps less common than back then  ) but the bridal part is often postponed until years later.  We've all got used to it.

But as far as the 1800s are concerned, I think that when a young couple got engaged or plighted their troth, intimacy began, perhaps to find out whether the union would be fertile.  If that was proved, a wedding was promptly arranged, with the result you describe.  There are a few examples in my tree.

Yes, and mine.

I have a case of my 3xreat gran whose recorded mother was 51 at the time of the birth, but had the middle name of an older sister who went on to have several more illegitimate children. I think the "older sister" was her birth mother, as the recorded 51 year old mother's previous child was born 8 years earlier. Goes to show that you do not always know who the mother is, you can get NME's as well as NPE's. Grandmother passed off as mother for instance.

[Andrew Tarr]

I think the "older sister" was her birth mother, as the recorded 51 year old mother's previous child was born 8 years earlier. Goes to show that you do not always know who the mother is, you can get NME's as well as NPE's. Grandmother passed off as mother for instance.

A well-known explanation for a possibly awkward (but not unusual) family situation.

[nudge67]

An update.

Further research on the Codrington tree (i think it's a species of lantana; very entangled and thorny) reveals that I am descended from a junior branch of that family that stayed in Gloucestershire, not the slave owning sugar barons of Barbados.

nudge.

[Biggles50]

The following probable fact is applicable to everyone researching Genealogy

“mis-treatment, enslavement, death, murder, family against family, persecution, manipulation of others, intrigue, treachery is in everyones Family Line, it is there for sure and if you think otherwise it is just because you have yet to find it”.

I have traced lines back over a 1000 years and found everything in the above statement to be true.

Remember the probable fact that 98% of western European people are descended one way or another to King Edward III, and that certainly leads to everything in the statement.

Live with it or take up another interest.

[ThrelfallYorky]

The very boring, little of interest ancestors that I have all over my tree at least mean that I'm spared such guilt as Nudge67 has felt. The worst I can muster is a workhouse master who it appears lost his place, for being too kind!
TY

[Andrew Tarr]

The very boring, little of interest ancestors that I have all over my tree at least mean that I'm spared such guilt as Nudge67 has felt. The worst I can muster is a workhouse master who it appears lost his place, for being too kind!

The worst I can offer is a bit of bankruptcy, alleged embezzlement, and a suggested suicide which I have been unable to confirm.  My wife's tree shows some bigamy and a divorce.  Never any transportation or imprisonment as far as I know.  Perhaps I just don't look hard enough.

Of course one must remember that even when correctly transcribed, the original info may be littered with falsehoods and obfuscation .... 

[coombs]

Well last July I found a direct ancestor was sent to Australia in May 1791. He died just months after landing in Sydney. Landed there in Feb 1792 and died in April.

[Erato]

In times gone by, except in the most extreme cases, domestic violence wasn't even considered a crime and, unless there was a death, it generally didn't get reported in the newspapers.

I have found only one case in my tree - my gg-grandfather.  He was successfully sued for divorce by my gg-grandmother, and evidence of his violent behavior was presented in court.  Even so, he was never held to account for the physical and mental abuse he inflicted on his wife and children.  I doubt that he was the only abuser in my tree.