How to reconcile with the past?

[Rena]

I too wouldn't want to be making my way into the world today.

My generation didn't reach our majority until our twenty-first birthday.  I think eighteen years old is too young to be classed as a full adult, when we know that our bones do not even reach maturity until we're about twenty-five/twenty-six years old.  The vehicle insurance companies also don't think their clients are fully grown adults until they reach their mid twenties, as can be seen by the exorbitant cost of vehicle insurances for eighteen year old drivers.

Alcohol affects people in different ways.  Some people get the giggles, some people just want to go to sleep.  I've seen males whose friends have had to stop a pal fighting everyone after he had drunk a pint of beer. 

[Jebber]

Sorry about this BUT:

Are we really trying to say that past generations were worse than the current one?  Not very sure that I would agree with that 

I'm basically very glad that I was born in the 1940's and grew up in the 1950's and 1960's.  I would definitely not like to be young today!

You are so right  BumbleB, we were extremely fortunate to be born then. Life was not easy for a lot of people in post war Britain, but generally, respect for others was much greater than it is today

I don’t understand why some people get so worked up about what our ancestors did or didn’t do in the past. The expectations of some that we should apologise for what our ancestors did, the past is history and we cannot change it. What we can do, is to Try our utmost  to see that terrible  things are  not repeated.

[MollyC]

You are so right  BumbleB, we were extremely fortunate to be born then. Life was not easy for a lot of people in post war Britain, but generally, respect for others was much greater than it is today

The war had made everyone well disciplined.  They had to be, lives depended upon it.  Whether in the forces, in war production, in volunteer units or somehow making rations stretch to feed and clothe the family.  They brought up their children in the same spirit.

[Essnell]

Hi,

I am late on this post but I have one relative whom I find hard to deal with objectively.   What she did was probably because of circumstance and there was little alternative , in her mind, as to how her future would be.

I originally was totally flattened by the news but I have put my thoughts past her actions then, 
However I still have issues as later there were other instances of odd behaviour. 

Sadly I cannot respect her as I should. I have documented everything and some others know most of the story and are also saddened and shocked but we all have accepted the past.

The worst part is she is a quite close relative but one I never knew. 
I have followed all about her as she became more an more interesting and important to my research and family.
There are still unanswered questions.

Essnell

[Mike in Cumbria]

The expectations of some that we should apologise for what our ancestors did, the past is history and we cannot change it. What we can do, is to Try our utmost  to see that terrible  things are  not repeated.

We can also recognise that many of the advantages that we have as a society are directly linked to the  exploitation of other societies in the past, and that the opposite is true.  Apologies for past behaviour are one thing, but it is more important to work fairly with those communities and those parts of the world that are still suffering the consequences of our enrichment at their expense.

[Essnell]

  Apologising does not alter the past.

An apology should be at the time and recognising that they were wrong. As one or as a group. Acknowledge what they did, but don't judge them from your today standards. Document and move on.

As Mike says the past is past and you cannot change it.  Live in the present, it's all we have. Act respectfully and thoughtfully.
Essnell

[coombs]

Also if you was to find an NPE in your tree, then if the documented father who was not the blood father bought your ancestor up, shared their surname and was married to the mother, and there at the birth, then he was still an ancestor of yours in every way but biology.

[DianaCanada]

Also if you was to find an NPE in your tree, then if the documented father who was not the blood father bought your ancestor up, shared their surname and was married to the mother, and there at the birth, then he was still an ancestor of yours in every way but biology.

But ancestry is biology.  The parental relationship that someone has with a stepchild, while it might be wonderful and loving, is not biological or ancestral.
My mother was partly brought up by her aunt, and while they were very close, I don’t regard my great-aunt as my ancestor.

[Erato]

"But ancestry is biology."

This biologist disagrees.