How to reconcile with the past?

[radstockjeff]

You cannot rewind the reel and start again. What has been done has been done. I think that you have to be a bit careful in how you deal with such information so as not to upset the sensibilities of some folk. But such discoveries can provide "bragging rights" under some circumstances.
My particular "bad egg" was my g grandfather's brother in law who finished up killing his lover ( a married lady) and then turning the gun on himself.  But it was over one hundred years ago so it is unlikely to create much of a stir today.

[Erato]

Probably the best thing you can do is to make public records of the Codrington plantation if any still exist.  They may not reflect well on the Codringtons of that era but they could help the descendants of the plantation's enslaved people find their ancestors.

[BumbleB]

Quite interesting!!!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Codrington_Plantations

[coombs]

20 years ago I found out my great great grandfather committed suicide in 1894 in rural Suffolk. I was in touch with one of his grandsons born 1914. He wondered whatever happened to his grandfather but I already knew but never told him as he was 88 at the time. I suggested he may have emigrated or moved away but knew the truth. My dad said he would have told him as he is not a baby. Tactful, not.

Mark Herber's fantastic Ancestral Trails book said if you were to find an elderly relatives father was illegitimate then would it be necessary to tell them, and best to perhaps keep quiet.

[Kiltpin]

Facts are facts. You can either ignore them, or accept them. Once you know the fact, you know it. No amount of ignoring will change that. So all that is left is acceptance. 

Accept what you have found and move on. And then tell your relatives the same thing. 

Regards 

Chas

[Biggles50]

Convicted > Sentenced to Death > Commuted

Convicted again > Sentenced to Death again > Commuted > put on a Hulk on the Thames > shipped to Australia > served sentence > pardoned on condition he never returns to the UK or any British Territory.

This was one of my xGreat Uncles and you think you have problems with your Ancestors.

Think about my Wife’s line, one hung drawn and quartered made worst in that the person sentencing him was also a relative but on a different line.

Then there are all the relatives we all had who fought in various wars and killed the enemy, how can we each resolve that?

Life happens, forgive, accept and move on, if you cannot then there is imo something wrong with the Quaker teachings.

[coombs]

2 of my 3xgreat uncles were sent to Australia. One for stealing a horse in 1827 and the other for maiming a man in a pub in 1836. The 1827 one made it to Australia just in time for the NSW 1828 census.

[nudge67]

Thank you all for your input on this. Now that the initial shock has worn off, I'm viewing this as objectively as I would any other history

[Andrew Tarr]

We always will find .... a shotgun wedding, but the huge amount of pregnant brides in the 1700s and 1800s, and earlier and later, shows bridal pregnancy was actually very, very common.

Well, these days pregnancy is also pretty common (though perhaps less common than back then  ) but the bridal part is often postponed until years later.  We've all got used to it.

But as far as the 1800s are concerned, I think that when a young couple got engaged or plighted their troth, intimacy began, perhaps to find out whether the union would be fertile.  If that was proved, a wedding was promptly arranged, with the result you describe.  There are a few examples in my tree.