DNA ethnicity logic check / Unexpected result

[Carmella]

Hi Andy,

If PW's mother is willing & able to take a DNA test for you that is good news & sounds like the best thing you can do in this situation.  Fingers crossed that your relationship with PW's mother definitely falls into one category or another.

Re. the probability tool WATO which other posters have mentioned - the more DNA values you enter, the better - this thread shows a screenshot:

https://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php?topic=858274.0

Also, a blog post about the difficulties of figuring out close relationships - it's from 2016 so written before WATO tool was developed but maybe worth browsing - it has 300+ comments...

https://blog.kittycooper.com/2016/08/how-to-tell-the-relationship-from-the-shared-dna/

[AndyH81]

Well, we got the last test back:

BC (the daughter) and I share: 7.7% of our DNA, 543.2 cM, 25 segments with the largest being 71.1 cM.

PW (the mother) and I share: 16% of our DNA, 1,130.7 cM, 37 segments with the largest being 88.1 cM.

PI (the grandmother) and I share: 30.4% of our DNA, 2,153.5 cM, 41 segments and the largest is 166.3 cM

So the grandmother is almost certainly my aunt. So I have an aunt, first cousin, and first cousin once removes respectively.

I believe someone else in the family might be prepared to do a test to rule themselves out, but if that were they case, it would only confirm they weren't a parent - just an uncle.

[brigidmac]

Great news thanks for sharing .

Having concrete examples gives others hints of different possible permutations .

[decor]

What great progress & thanks for the update!
Knowing that your biological father is most likely the full sibling of your highest DNA match certainly points you in the right direction.

[Rosinish]

BC (the daughter) and I share: 7.7% of our DNA, 543.2 cM, 25 segments with the largest being 71.1 cM.

PW (the mother) and I share: 16% of our DNA, 1,130.7 cM, 37 segments with the largest being 88.1 cM.

PI (the grandmother) and I share: 30.4% of our DNA, 2,153.5 cM, 41 segments and the largest is 166.3 cM

So the grandmother is almost certainly my aunt. So I have an aunt, first cousin, and first cousin once removes respectively.

I believe someone else in the family might be prepared to do a test to rule themselves out, but if that were they case, it would only confirm they weren't a parent - just an uncle.

Great news to have things confirmed on the relationship & good news on the 'uncle' who's possibly prepared to do a test to rule himself out as it will bring you a step closer to which brother is likely your 'biological' father.

I have sent messages to my highest match of 8% shared DNA: 578 cM across 21 segments but they're unread so far although he's been online since I sent the messages & can only assume he either hasn't understood what the 'new' messages feature is (which was previously an envelope) or he hasn't been notified 

Annie

[AndyH81]

What great progress & thanks for the update!
Knowing that your biological father is most likely the full sibling of your highest DNA match certainly points you in the right direction.

Well, we're almost 100% certain we know which of the three brothers it is through lots of circumstantial evidence, unfortunately he is dead so cannot be tested, and I am told it's unlikely that his other children would ever be tested - or get tested of their own volition either.

Although one of the brothers is apparently intrigued enough that he's considering testing himself. Which I guess means he's confident enough that it's not him. lol At least it would narrow it down to two.

[brigidmac]

How does it make you feel ?

Is it enough that you've increased the probability from circumstantial evidence . It was for a war baby ...who has totally lost interest now but maintains contact with me and a Liverpool second cousin who knows a lot about the family history .it was a big bonus that we had family photos going back to late 1880s for family members .

several people who get this close ,sometimes talk to aunt's and uncles or see photos + gives a sense of belonging.

I don't know how different an experience it is to someone who knows their father is not their birth father from an early age .

All the programs about finding families make it look very simple and some people get really frustrated when trying to discover their "real " father .

Especially if they feel close ones have been lying to them all their lives .

Although I'm fascinated by DNA results .family traits and full knowledge ...I do believe "real" parents are the ones who brought you up .

Happy Parents day to all  adopters & fosterers and people who have taken on their partners child .

[AndyH81]

I mean, I'd like to know names and maybe see pictures just so I know who they are. But I'm not really interested beyond that. Of course, if they wanted to say hello, they'd be more than welcome - as anyone would be. But they're not getting invites to Christmas dinner etc. They're just strangers to me and I know who my real family are.

The only real horrific concern I have is "Oh my God! What if I'd snogged or married a cousin/sibling?" and never known. lol

If anything, I just hope stories like these serve as a stark moral warning to others about having affairs or cheating on people: it's rarely the people who have the tryst who end up dealing with the consequences of their actions!

[Rosinish]

I just hope stories like these serve as a stark moral warning to others about having affairs or cheating on people: it's rarely the people who have the tryst who end up dealing with the consequences of their actions!

I was recently contacted by a DNA relative born in circumstances exactly the same as yours, the mother had obviously had an affair.

The biological father (my relative) was 1 of 11 siblings, 8 being male which would seem almost impossible to work out.

My DNA match knew or was 99.99% sure who he was which has been confirmed by 'circumstantial' evidence...

The 'circumstantial' evidence being, the 7 male siblings were all deceased by the time my match was conceived & the 'biological' father was single, in his late 40s - early 50s when my match was conceived to a younger mother!

Of course others may not be able to work out the connection quite so easily.

Annie