Search birth certificates using mother's first name?

[brigidmac]

thanks for getting back to us .good luck in your search .
+with coming to terms with this .

[AndyH81]

It doesn't really affect my relationship with my dad; it doesn't change the events of my life. He and I are relatively estranged anyway, so we rarely see each other.

I was thinking I might post something in the DNA queries about this because I have a logic question RE: ethnicity estimates, and I am not sure if I am correct in my assumption. Basically, my father's ethnicity estimate ranges between 0 - 4% Irish ancestry, whereas mine was between 20 - 40%. Now, I know - for sure - that no one on my mother's side of the family is Irish - including the new extended family members I have discovered since.

So, my logical thinking was that there is no way my ethnicity could be greater than his unless my mother or her family were Irish (which they aren't), so my current working assumption is that my biological father (assuming no monumental cock up in the DNA processing) would have to be Irish - or at very least have a lot of Irish ancestry himself.

Which is interesting, as I have matched to lots of previously unknown relations in Ireland, seemingly all from one or two families. I could be way off base, but my suspicion is that my biological father is a member of that family, or very closely related to them.

Unfortunately with my mother being dead, there's not really anyone to interrogate. And I'm turning 40 very shortly, so my dad is in his 60s and my mother would be in her late 50s were she still here, so - depending on the age of mystery man - time might be running rather short in finding out who he is. It might have to be a mystery that goes unsolved.

I'd be really curious to find out who he is. Not so we can have a relationship, but just so I can hear about what happened and try to make sense of it. Right now, I guess I am feeling really sad for my father and my sisters, and quite angry at my mum and mystery man. Though I suppose without them I wouldn't be here, so...

[Ruskie]

Thanks for the update Andy. Though you had your suspicions and it must difficult, this situation is not that unusual. 

I agree with the suggestion to post on the dna board, and maybe give a link to this thread for detailed background.

I think the general consensus is that ethnicity estimates are OK as a guide, but don’t take them as gospel.

[AndyH81]

Thanks for the update Andy. Though you had your suspicions and it must difficult, this situation is not that unusual. 

I agree with the suggestion to post on the dna board, and maybe give a link to this thread for detailed background.

I think the general consensus is that ethnicity estimates are OK as a guide, but don’t take them as gospel.

Thanks. I will do so later today... I appreciate they're estimates, but to me the only logical way for me to have a higher percentage of something than 1 parent is if the other parent has massively more of that ethnic group present in their DNA. Otherwise you'd presumably expect this to be watered down by a generation.

We're still going to have a legal paternity test, but I know what I am expecting it to say! Fortunately I happen to be in therapy at the moment as it is, so at least there's that!! 

[brigidmac]

Oh dear . you said you feel angry with your mum and Mr mystery. I don't know if it would make you feel better or worse but have you considered it may have been a non consensual relationship.

Not likely to find the truth now unless  one of your mother's friends or relatives knows .

Be kind to yourself 🙂

[AndyH81]

Oh dear . you said you feel angry with your mum and Mr mystery. I don't know if it would make you feel better or worse but have you considered it may have been a non consensual relationship.

Not likely to find the truth now unless  one of your mother's friends or relatives knows .

Be kind to yourself 🙂

Yes, I've considered all sorts of horrible scenarios in my head.

From the information divulged from my father, I get the impression that - if anything - it's likely to have been a brief fling or one-off mistake.

Supposedly she used to be addicted to chatting to both men and women on the old CB radio and every now and then she would invite them round for a chat or a coffee, which used to infuriate my dad and ultimately lead to the breakdown of their marriage. From that, I imagine it might have been the result of some poor choices.

[Rosinish]

In this image the top and bottom entry are obviously not illegitimate,  but the middle one could be.
(Or the product of a Smith/Smith marriage  )

If you take a look at the above image posted by mckha (Reply #13), the middle entry has number 2555/S

This is a good example as I believe an entry with the added 'S' indicates an adoption.


Annie

[Ruskie]

I’m not sure you will need the paternity test in addition to the dna test. Someone with more knowledge should be able to advise.

Rather than look at the ethnicity I suggest looking at the highest cm percentage matches you have and contact them to see how much they can tell you about their families.

It is probably not advisable to jump in feet first at this stage and admit you are searching for your biological father, but rather tiptoe round the edges to get as much information from them as you can. Some people are reluctant to accept that their ancestors may have produced children with other partners, so you might find they clamp up - a softly softly approach might yield results. 

I think Annie asked on your other thread how many cms you share with your highest matches - I agree that contacting them is the best way forward. 

[AndyH81]

I’m not sure you will need the paternity test in addition to the dna test. Someone with more knowledge should be able to advise.

The reason I feel I need one is because I do match to a few more distant relatives (3rd/4th cousins) that would have to be on my father's side. I've gone over everything I can find and so far as I can tell, I couldn't be related to them any other way - which only deepens this mystery for me.

I'm afraid without being schooled in genetics, looking at the centimorgans isn't going to be particularly useful for me. I know who the closest matches are from the results:

I have one match who was suggested as either a great niece (which is impossible based on what I currently know), 1st cousin once removed, or a 2nd cousin. We share 7.7% of our DNA (543.2 cM), but that doesn't really tell me a huge amount because I have no knowledge other than I would get roughly 50% from each parent. :/

What I do know is that she is searching for her father too and also happens to be related to the same family in Ireland that I have my mysterious matches to.

Maybe I'll post that on the DNA post too. Maybe someone can help me there because I've no idea what I am really looking for!