"I found a possible marriage to her first hubby in 1810 "
If that were my relative, I'd do exactly what Coombs did: make a note of the possible marriage and hope that additional records will one day become available that will confirm it or disprove it.
In fact, I have one major branch of my tree that I can't be sure of; I'm somewhere around 90% certain that it's correct but there are still those niggling doubts. It's the one thing that has almost convinced me to submit my DNA because that could potentially solve the issue. In the meantime, though, I just consider them to be likely ancestors. I keep that branch as a separate tree unconnected to my main tree. If I ever get proof that satisfies me, I'll graft it onto the main stem.
But, accepting one marriage event on rather skimpy grounds doesn't make someone a "mere name collector." It just means that their standards of evidence are different than Coombs's. Barring a tiny newspaper announcement, I have no documentary evidence that my parents were actually married but that's good enough for me. I don't need any further evidence than my own personal knowledge/experience for that event.
Not having a paperwork trail showing a formal marriage for your parents has absolutely nothing to do with name collectors. The main reason any researcher seeks out formal marriage documents is to obtain the family history information recorded on those documents - Your own personal knowledge/experience as to your own parentage leads you back to who were your parents - whether they were formally married or not makes no difference to who were your grandparents, great grandparents, great greats and so on.
Having access to parish records, or civil registrations are a traditional tool for family history buffs in western cultures. But whether there is an extant record readily available does not change who were your ancestors... ☺
Name Collectors don't seem to be concerned with recognising that someone born in 1600 could NOT have died in 1900 ... or a female born in 1780 could not have given birth to a child in 1781 or in 1890 ... or a person born in England in 1540 could not have migrated to Sydney, New South Wales, Australia in 1788 or to San Francisco, in 1904.... Or a male born anywhere in 1820 could not have been Killed In Action in WWII...
Someone (a name collector) has an online tree (unsourced) that has my maternal grandmother as born somewhere in Wales in the UK in 1811. She wasn't. She was born in New South Wales, Australia in the 1880s. I know because she told me so.
In the late 1950s she introduced me to genealogy.
I am absolutely sure she would say "Fools" and "Let them waste their energy on hogwash" "dogs chasing their own tail" ... I am sure, because she told me so.
I sent just one polite message to that tree owner, asking if they would like a copy of the bdm certificates from the Registrar General's Office of New South Wales. The tree suddenly went 'private' and I have not ever had a reply... could be 15 years or so ago... ☺
JM edited for spelling, grammar and clarity.