How to say "You're wrong"?

[M_ONeill]

I've sent messages to people with shared ancestors in cases where there is a 'pitfall'; that is, an answer that appears correct unless you know one particular detail that is difficult to uncover.

In those situations you can often tell from their tree that they are by no means a bad researcher, they've just made an erroneous-but-fair assumption given the information they had available. I figure it's at least worth a shot at putting those people on the right path.

There's one particular ancestor in my tree who has caused so many people to make a wrong turn, as you can only find the correct record with an unusual spelling variant. In her case there's actually too many mistaken trees on Ancestry to message! 

In most cases I'd agree, it's not worth it. Ancestry's algorithms themselves encourage the 'scattershot' and 'name collecting' style of searching. Endorphin hits from making matches keeps the punters playing, after all!

[Ruskie]

If you can be bothered to correct them, you don’t need to tiptoe around it, just say, “I think you are wrong” and briefly say why.

[majm]

If you can be bothered to correct them, you don’t need to tiptoe around it, just say, “I think you are wrong” and briefly say why.

Exactly so.  .... 

Hi there,   like you, I am researching ...... and ......  and I notice you mention the  1789 birth details for ......  and their subsequent marriage, just three years later, in 1792. 

May I  ask you to re check and let me know the outcome,  as I am sure it would be impossible for any person that young to actually marry.   


Cheerio for now, looking forward to sharing some images from my research with you,

    

And of course before you send it,  make sure that the person you think was 3 years of age .... well ... make sure.... e.g.  if it is based on a baptism,  are you absolutely positive the baptism is for a baby ... and parents named, no others of similar name or occupation, in that locality,  baby before and after in a pattern,  mum not too young or too old,.... check, check check.... and ask on RChat for fresh eyes to check too.

JM.

[melba_schmelba]

I have the marriage of Person X in 1792 but have hit a brickwall before that date.  Strongly suspect they originated in Ireland but I can find nothing earlier.  However, someone has posted a family tree on Anc. giving X’s birth three years before his wedding and attributing a couple married in 1845 to the bride’s parents.  What’s the etiquette here?  How do you point out there's something wrong... in a nice way? 

Some of these horrors come from madcap suggestions from the Ancestry hints, so it may not be entirely their fault. I've regularly seen Ancestry hints suggests things in countries separated by oceans, or by 150 years.

[sleepybarb]

I’m afraid I wouldn’t bother. My cousins son has my grandparents wrong on his tree with Grandad dying in1963. Wrong he died 1935 and aforementioned cousins grandfather registered the death!
  Barb

[chris_49]

You could modernise:

"I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken." (Oliver Cronwell)

Cromwell's rule is not meant to imply certainty but rather near-certainty. In family history, it's entirely possible for both protaganists to be wrong.

[sandiep]

if you dont feel able to contact direct there is a comments section on each person if you put what you think there they can see it and so can anyone else who can then check before adding it to their tree

[Jebber]

if you dont feel able to contact direct there is a comments section on each person if you put what you think there they can see it and so can anyone else who can then check before adding it to their tree

That is what I usually do, the option is then there for anyone else looking at the tree to check, but I don’t think many do.