Party thread - All welcome

[Pennines]

Oh Groom - if you are in Wales you can learn the correct version then!! We'll expect you to be word perfect when you come to the party.

[Rishile]

I've just seen this on my local FB page.  Sorry for the dodgy language.

At first I was afraid, I left petrified,
 There was no loo roll down at Aldi and I nearly cried.
 Oh I spent so many nights just thinking how you did me wrong,
 I used to wipe,
 And now I’m forced to just drip dry !
 No anti-bac !
 No bloody soap,
 and if you think you’re buying pasta well you’ve got no bloody hope !
 I would have bought that box of eggs, I would have rationed out my bread,
 If I’d have known for just one second everyone would lose their head !
 Go on now go, walk out the door !
 All you bloody stockpilers,
 You are not welcome any more !
 Weren’t you the ones who just bought all the sodding beans ?
 You selfish gits !
 I hope you spill them down your jeans !
 Oh no not I, I won’t panic buy!
 Oh as long as I have alcohol, I know I’ll stay alive,
 Though I can’t buy my usual cheese,
 This will not bring me to my knees
 And I’ll survive, I will survive, hey, hey !
 It took all the strength I had not to fall apart,
 There was just apples and 1 carrot in my shopping cart,
 And I spent hours walking round just feeling sorry for myself,
 The empty store, with boxes strewn across the floor
 And you’ll see me, somebody who,
 Cannot buy anything she came for, and it’s all down to fecking you
 And frickin Reg from down the road is such a selfish blimmin git
 Because he stockpiled all the loo roll so nobody else can have a s@*t !
 Go on now go, walk out the door !
 All you bloody stockpilers,
 You are not welcome any more!
 Weren’t you ones who just bought all the sodding cakes
 Can’t you make a crumble,
 Do you people not know how to bake ?
 Oh no not I, I won’t panic buy !
 Oh as long as I have alcohol, I know I’ll stay alive,
 Though I can’t buy my usual cheese
 This will not bring me to my knees
 And I’ll survive, I will survive

Rishile

[Pennines]

Oh Rishile!! I have just sung that all the way through -- it's brilliant.

It always amazes me how people can compile such things so quickly in relation to what's going on.
It gave me a really good laugh on what seems to be a very long day. I keep thinking it should be about 5 pm by now.

'Time goes by so slowly' - another song.

[arthurk]

(From the sidelines) Brilliant song, Rishile 

I'm not much of a party person, and in any case I was wondering whether the dress code should be one that helped with social distancing.

The kind of thing I had in mind was massive crinolines, topped off with a extra large version of Madonna's bra. And for the ladies....

[Pennines]

Great idea re dress code Arthurk -- can we have a photo please?

[arthurk]

I think some things are best left to the imagination.... 

[Pennines]

Spoilsport!

[Llwyd]

Llwyd -- can you sing the Welsh National Anthem please? I just love that. I don't know the words, so people won't have to listen to me singing (relief all round).

My hen laid a haddock on top of a tree,

Glad barks and centurions throw dogs in the sea,

My guru asked Elvis and brandished Dan’s flan,

Don’s muddy bog’s blocked up with sand.

Dad, Dad! Why don’t you oil Aunty Glad?

When oars appear, on beer bottle pies,

Oh butter the hens as they fly.

[Llwyd]

I also know the lyrics of Calon Lan so perhaps Llwyd and I could do a duet.  I fear neither of us will sound anything like Katherine Jenkins but times are hard and I'm sure we'll be doing our best. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSxJnOeAswg

To be honest GS I don't sound anything like Katherine Jenkins, which, in all probability, is not surprising. Our/the National Anthem presents no problems, except that it seems to make my eyes run.