Party thread - All welcome

[Viktoria]

Viktoria here, well ,in an effort to get into a dress now several sizes too small
( size8)I rooted out an ancient all in one corselette.
You know ladies the sort you stepped into.
I am now a size 12, so having a brilliant mind, I deduced that  to step  into it with 36 inch hips into a 34 bust upper part was daft.
So using my brilliant mind I thought to pull it on over my head would be a better idea ,it wasn’t!
I have been trapped for hours,with the damn thing nearly suffocating me.
My left arm squashed across my face,the right vainly trying to pull the thing down or up!
Finally wriggled free .
No hot pants,well lukewarm more like it, no mini skirts but a very modest Laura Ashley long skirt and pin tucked blouse.
Can’t find big fuzzy wig and the stupid cat won’t stay still long enough !
Do have a pale lipstick and false lashes an inch long but can’t use them just yet.
Dark John Lennon glasses and I still have some Patchouli.
Now if I could find my teeth ,I am ready,oh I put them in !
No platform shoes so bare feet.
I will bring the Duval beer, some carrots for carrot sticks  and should  I roast  the frozen potatoes or are we roughing it?
See Ya!
Ciao.
Viktoria.

[despair]

Is that Psycho Chicken getting in on the act?

Roger

[Viktoria]

I thought it was on the menu!
Viktoria.

[candleflame]

Delighted to hear that GS.

[Greensleeves]

We were fortunate, Roger, that Psycho Chicken was more than happy to model for our new facial attire,  as she's still feeling rather bad about her species' responsibility for the great bird flu plagues of 2005 and 2009.  I also understand that Peppa Pig has made herself available too,  in an attempt to compensate for the great swine flu debacle of 2009.

[Maiden Stone]

We were fortunate, Roger, that Psycho Chicken was more than happy to model for our new facial attire,  as she's still feeling rather bad about her species' responsibility for the great bird flu plagues of 2005 and 2009.  I also understand that Peppa Pig has made herself available too,  in an attempt to compensate for the great swine flu debacle of 2009.

Have you heard from Batman?

[Mart 'n' Al]

This party will have to be a substitute for the 1960s party I was going to attend in a month's time. I intended going as one of the Beatles, off the cover of Sgt Pepper, and, although I get my haircut every 3 months and I hate having it done, I was letting it grow a little bit longer. I now expect the party will be cancelled, so I'm quite keen to get my haircut. I do not want to sit for 15 to 20-minutes being breathed on by a barber who has been breathed on by lots of other people. Will anyone at the party have some garden shears or sharp kitchen scissors and be prepared to give me a number two, in less than 3 minutes?

Alternatively, as I haven't tried cutting my own hair since I was 2 and 1/2, I'm quite tempted to give it a go myself.

Are any other gentlemen in a similar situation?

Finally, the lyrics of Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young's song, "Almost cut my hair", come to mind,

"Almost cut my hair,
Happened just the other day
It's gettin' kind of long
I could've said it was in my way
But I didn't and I wonder why

Must be because I had the flu this Christmas
And I'm not feeling up to par
And increases my paranoia,
But I'm not, I'm not giving in an inch to fear. "

Martin

[a chesters]

Celebratory Brandy and Babychams all round?
Or possibly Tia Marias?

Roger

Can supply a small bottle of Tia Maria (unopened). It must be at least 20 years old.

Also a half drunk bottle of Chateau Tanunda brandy, also a little elderly

[despair]

GS-is the fashion known as Gonzowear?

Roger