Help with Marriage

[Beg Clonrode...]

Ok, now shoot me! 

Hi Minnie... really hope I didn't offend you. I suspect I might have but it definitely ticked me off how everyone piled into SelDen for giving his/her thoughts on what was 110% a breach of Rootschat Terms and Conditions.

I have the surnames of the couple and believe they are both likely to still be alive.

4.1 As a user you agree not to do any of the following:
[...]
4.1.17 - Breach or request the breach of privacy of persons who are or may be living.

https://www.rootschat.com/forum/terms.php

Even our beloved leader gave the original poster a bit of a free pass (although admittedly he can read the PMs so knew what was going on behind the scenes).

There might be something in the T's & C's which says "it's okay to use the PM system to bypass our Terms and Conditions" but I couldn't find it. Maybe it's the bit about "in accordance with English law" so it doesn't apply to us honest kiwis.

---

There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that the hundreds of people who are thankful to you and other rootschatters for your/their time and effort far outweigh the number of people that your efforts have caused to feel a bit creeped out, assuming there are any.

Speaking of creeping... quite a few years back you sent me an email about something. Just for fun I used your email address to find you in real life. It wasn't difficult. I just "used what's out there" and, as respect of personal privacy seems to be a thing of the past, I can now consider it "moving with the times".

Looking back it slightly upsets me that I did that... plus it now transpires I broke T&C 4.1.1 (no stalking).... ooops.... never mind. English law, so doesn't apply here in good old honest NZ.

---

I still check the board most days and like to help out when I can. It's just I'm a lot more careful about what I get involved in.

As in life, just because I can do something doesn't mean I should do something.

Regards
Beg

PS - Had a chuckle at the "relative newcomer" line :-)

[minniehaha]

Hello Beg,

This topic is hotting up quite nicely.....  

Part quote:

"Hi Minnie... really hope I didn't offend you. I suspect I might have but it definitely ticked me off how everyone piled into SelDen for giving his/her thoughts on what was 110% a breach of Rootschat Terms and Conditions."


You have my word, you have not offended me at all. However I would like to be excluded from the 'everyone' "who piled into SelDen."

My words to the OP were, "I also told him that he had not caused any offence and had handled the situation with care and delicacy." I think 'piled' here might be a tad over the top, perhaps? However that could just be a matter of opinion. 

Part quote:

"Speaking of creeping... quite a few years back you sent me an email about something. Just for fun I used your email address to find you in real life. It wasn't difficult."


Now that is interesting because the e-mail address is not mine so I'm really not sure what you could have found out about me personally.    But then I know little about technology, as has been shown from time to time.

In conclusion I would like to say that I very much respect all the work you do on Rootschat. We don't 'see' you often but when we do, you always have some valuable information to impart.

Kind regards,

Minniehaha. 

[Janette]

. I was really quite surprised to see our big guns pile into him/her.

Regards
Beg

And yet others are prepared to pile into foundblue by way of all these comments on this thread.
Double standards come to mind.

Cheers Janette

[Beg Clonrode...]

Hi Minnie... interesting about the email address. I honestly can't remember the details as it was many years ago. It was just a natural reaction back then to put a face to an email address.  Anyway, good to see you keep real life and online life seperate.

---

We'll have to agree to disagree :-)

In your eyes the end result of this thread is yet another successful reunion. The ends justify the means.

In my mind everyone either broke or was complicit in breaking the rules and the only one who called you all out has left the building.

Having said that, there are a million more things of importance happening in the world today. A mild online disagreement between friends "ain't worth a hill of beans in this crazy world" ... or something like that :-)

All the best
Beg

[Beg Clonrode...]

And yet others are prepared to pile into foundblue by way of all these comments on this thread.
Double standards come to mind.

Hi Janette... not piling in to the original poster. Merely stating the fact that he broke the rules, more than likely through ignorance.

If by double standards you mean I've used the PM system to research the living... guilty as charged. Certainly don't do it nowadays.

I always feel a bit uneasy when people say "No one is breaking any of the rules by using the PM to [sp] commnicate" then are quiet when people proceed to use the PM system to break the rules.

Bit of a double standard.

Regards
Beg

[spades]

Hi everyone,

I sent a message to Sarah asking for clarification. In her reply she didn't make any reference to the T&C, but said only that RootsChat should avoid living person search requests as we never know the motive for the inquiry, i.e. criminal or genuine. That is why it's best to refer such requests to other resources such as Salvation Army, etc.

I hope this clarifies matters.

Spades