What's the largest cM DNA match you have where you can't identify the link?

[brigidmac]

My biggest mystery person is a 340cm match across 18 segments to my aunt and 180cm match to me across 11 segments
Because of our other shared matches
I'm assuming it is a  cousin once removed of my aunt's (+ my father)but  it's frustrating that they don't have a tree or answer messages because I've identified who most of her cousins were and where they ended up except for the children of eldest MacDermid uncle ...our surname on this branch is dying out..and we would like to know if  any living descendants carried it on .But it could also be a Greatgrandchild of her own father...she.d still like to know.

[DavNich]

My Largest unknown person is a 354 cMs across 20 segments.
She replied to me saying that she was adopted and through her DNA had made contact with her delighted father.
However she wished to remain her mother's little secret. I know which grand parent branch she belongs to, but no more.

[Rosinish]

My Largest unknown person is a 354 cMs across 20 segments.
She replied to me saying that she was adopted and through her DNA had made contact with her delighted father.
However she wished to remain her mother's little secret. I know which grand parent branch she belongs to, but no more.

I feel sorry for you, what a cliffhanger 
Just curious what her relationship is to you i.e. why she won't tell as I thought this was part of why many adoptees do the DNA route?

I'm still learning about cMs etc.

Annie

[Murrell]

 I have read the comments posted and can understand their frustation. When l did my DNA l was so excited the possibility of finding distant relatives and a very long shot of finding my brother.
When l had a match of 1st cousin twice removed 189.3 cM
With 10 shared segments l contacted via e-mail twice in the first week no reply, thinking this person maybe on holiday. Now  three weeks no reply - such a shame 😢

[DavidG02]

 I have read the comments posted and can understand their frustation. When l did my DNA l was so excited the possibility of finding distant relatives and a very long shot of finding my brother.
When l had a match of 1st cousin twice removed 189.3 cM
With 10 shared segments l contacted via e-mail twice in the first week no reply, thinking this person maybe on holiday. Now  three weeks no reply - such a shame 😢

Hopefully its not being ignored - but maybe its going to the spam folder. What is the heading of the email?

Can you change it to a more specific non-company header? ie instead of ''I found a MyHeritage match'' etc it could be '' DNA link to xxxx ''

Just a thought

[IgorStrav]

Sadly (for us family history researchers anyway) there are many people who have their DNA analysed to find out whether they are English, German, Scandinavian, Indian etc - as encouraged by the companies offering the service.

Little do they seem to appreciate how questionable this particular 'where you're from' sort of analysis is.

And then, when they've not really understood the full implications of spitting in a tube, in terms of where the data goes, they get an unexpected email from someone

Some are not interested in finding any more family, they've got enough of them already
Some are concerned at out-of-the-blue messages, and are just waiting for you to ask for their bank account details
Some are too busy, can't think right now, and will put aside for a reply - at which point they forget and then when they remember they feel it's too late to respond.

And some, when faced up with finding potential NPE with relatives just don't want to deal with it.

It's very disappointing, and certainly when I contact people I try and say something very unthreatening, offer to share information and do some joint research, and then say - "but if you're not interested in family history research, no problem, it's great to be in touch with you anyway".

Have I got any better results in obtaining replies - don't think so  - but at least I feel I've done my very best to appreciate where the DNA match might be coming from

Good luck to everyone - family history research is always so frustrating when there are mysteries which you can't believe you'll never be able to solve.  But they probably are insoluble, and we just have to get over it.

[IgorStrav]

My Largest unknown person is a 354 cMs across 20 segments.
She replied to me saying that she was adopted and through her DNA had made contact with her delighted father.
However she wished to remain her mother's little secret. I know which grand parent branch she belongs to, but no more.

I feel sorry for you, what a cliffhanger 
Just curious what her relationship is to you i.e. why she won't tell as I thought this was part of why many adoptees do the DNA route?

I'm still learning about cMs etc.

Annie

https://dnapainter.com/tools/sharedcmv4

Annie, if you use the website above, you can type in the box at the top the number of cMs shared, and that will tell you the likelihood (in percentage terms) of the various relationships the match indicates.

354 cM indicates the following results:

[brigidmac]

Re the adopted match
It sou.ds like she knew who her mother is but doesn't want to reveal to you incase the family secret spreads to that side of family.she has discovered her father thru the testing which is great .

[IgorStrav]

Just rejoining this briefly for a short rant and sigh....

New MyHeritage match, of 91.9cM.  Chap in the US with a very small tree, but enough detail for me (after messaging him earlier this evening) to construct his family.  No missing relatives, so all good to look up.

Now for 91.9cM, I've looked up DNA Painter, and I think that our relationship should be strong enough for me to see where our connection is.  Can't be too far back, surely.

I'm now back to the early 1800s with all his family except one line coming from the US (mostly, and a couple from Canada.).
The other line came from Wick in Scotland, and after investing in some Scotland's people credits I've tracked them down and so far as I know I have no Scottish connections at all, and the family seems to originate there.

The two Canadian lines came from a) King Edward Island and previously Scotland again and the other, way back in the 1820's, came from Nova Scotia and MAY have been a mariner from the UK.

His name is John Smith. 

Thank you for listening.

It just seems bizarre, doesn't it, that you can have such a relatively large match and just not be able to see WHERE the link is.  Before you ask, the shared matches don't help much....and as I've built his tree, I've looked where there are people on other trees and none of them are DNA matches to me (or of course haven't taken the test).