DNA Testing can go horribly wrong.

[BourneGooner]

This has taken some time to get my thoughts together and I feel almost compelled to write this, hopefully someone may read it and use it as a warning where DNA testing is concerned, and who knows this may prove slightly cathartic.

I’m not prepared to go into specific details but will say DNA testing has the ability to destroy lives and can have devastating consequences.

DNA testing is now constantly advertised on the TV, social media, newspaper everywhere under the glossy banners of Could you be descended from Vikings, Are related to Royalty, Could you be the heir to a £50 million pound estate etc. etc. just spit into this tube and all will be revealed.

Well a word of caution that spit into the tube could tear your family apart, I speak from experience DNA testing actually answered a question regarding a distant great grandfather I had for over a decade, HooRah! I thought…….then the dark side of DNA testing came to light and the consequences have been to almost tear a family apart, whether irreparably only time will tell.

I would urge anyone thinking of taking one of these tests seriously think before you spit into that tube and send of the little box. Are you prepared for the answers and consequences of what you’re about to do……I thought I was and have never been so wrong.

DNA can be a DANGEROUS “toy” to play with and once the DNA genie is out of the bottle, it won’t go back in.

I’m fully aware that 99% of people taking these tests it is just a bit of fun and may even prove useful, but don’t believe all the glossy ads, and brochures please, please be warned it can go horribly wrong.

I may not come back to what I thought was a fun hobby in genealogy for a while, who knows.

BourneGooner

[BushInn1746]

Hello All

DNA is no substitute for the thrill of the documentary paperchase either!

DNA is absolutely only one tool in the Family Historians toolbox, should anyone decide to try it.

Also don't fall out, there are genetically scientific proven reasons why a person's DNA doesn't match their Father's or Mother's DNA.

Because some couples had large families over 200 years and with family multiplication, you can be DNA related to 100s if not 1,000s of people alive today (which is going to need some hefty significant expensive research in some cases to work out).

There is no substitute for the paperwork and document chasing, regarding families.

If you might find, that you just might be related to a King  , you are still going to have to spend probably 1,000s of hours travelling all over the country to Archives and £1,000s thousands of pounds and many years finding the paperwork and documents to prove it!

A researcher made a good comment on Rootschat to the effect of I spend more hours ruling people out.

Don't listen to the adverts. It is sometimes hype!

Mark

This has taken some time to get my thoughts together and I feel almost compelled to write this, hopefully someone may read it and use it as a warning where DNA testing is concerned, and who knows this may prove slightly cathartic.

I’m not prepared to go into specific details but will say DNA testing has the ability to destroy lives and can have devastating consequences.

DNA testing is now constantly advertised on the TV, social media, newspaper everywhere under the glossy banners of Could you be descended from Vikings, Are related to Royalty, Could you be the heir to a £50 million pound estate etc. etc. just spit into this tube and all will be revealed.

Well a word of caution that spit into the tube could tear your family apart, I speak from experience DNA testing actually answered a question regarding a distant great grandfather I had for over a decade, HooRah! I thought…….then the dark side of DNA testing came to light and the consequences have been to almost tear a family apart, whether irreparably only time will tell.

I would urge anyone thinking of taking one of these tests seriously think before you spit into that tube and send of the little box. Are you prepared for the answers and consequences of what you’re about to do……I thought I was and have never been so wrong.

DNA can be a DANGEROUS “toy” to play with and once the DNA genie is out of the bottle, it won’t go back in.

I’m fully aware that 99% of people taking these tests it is just a bit of fun and may even prove useful, but don’t believe all the glossy ads, and brochures please, please be warned it can go horribly wrong.

I may not come back to what I thought was a fun hobby in genealogy for a while, who knows.

BourneGooner

[Mart 'n' Al]

Can secrets, unearthed by DNA testing, be any worse than secrets revealed by the papertrail? Over 30 years ago my father discovered that his parents who brought him up were actually his grandparents, and that the lady he thought of was his sister, was actually his mother. This came as a surprise to me, but I'm aware that it is a very common occurrence. We now realise from documentation, and logic, that his extended family knew the truth, but kept it from him. By the time he found out most of his extended family were already dead so he could not discuss this with them.  I realise that everybody did what they thought was right at the time, but it was still a shock.

Martin

[Mike in Cumbria]

I suspect that the horrible secret that the OP has discovered is much closer to home.  It's one thing finding out that a 3xgreat grandparent is not genetically your ancestor. However, realising that you are the result of an extra-marital affair  that your father had no idea about can blow a family wide apart and destroy lives.

It's not a reason to avoid DNA tests, but the OP is right - there are risks.

[Ruskie]

As you didn’t supply the full details of what your DNA test revealed, and it is perfectly understandable if you do not wish to do so, it is difficult to understand what has led you to give this warning.

You mention a “distant great grandfather” - a great grandfather is not a particularly distant ancestor I don’t think. Nor do I think it so close a relationship for his actions to affect those living today, though that is obviously not the case with your family. I may be wrong but I am guessing that your example somehow relates to illegitimacy, which is the only thing I can think of to explain such a rift in the family.

I think if each person enters DNA testing expecting illegitimacy or worse, then there can be no surprises. Yes, the ads are misleading, And persuasive for some, however they are obviously just marketing spin.

Any possible division within a family also depends on their attitudes - what divides one family may not divide another.

A connection I made through a relative’s DNA matches, discovered at the age of 50 that his father was not his father. He ended up meeting his biological father and continued researching his non biological father’s family tree and DNA matches. Although it was obviously a shock to him to make this discovery he coped very well with it I think, and found a new family he did not know existed.

I can’t think of any discoveries as a result of DNA test in my own family that would lead to a scenario like yours. Sad for your family that this has happened, but I think it would be the exception rather than the rule. Lets hope things sort themselves out within your family.

As mentioned, as you have not given full details it is difficult to comment with any background knowledge, so incorrect conclusions may have been drawn by me.

Good luck.

[BushInn1746]

Also don't fall out, there are genetically scientific proven reasons why a person's DNA doesn't match their Father's or Mother's DNA.

Apparently, DNA can also be acquired during certain medical procedures too?

Not knowing about a secret, I might be a little frustrated, but life is simply too short to fall out with family or anyone else, for that matter.

When someone tells a lie, to cover up a non-criminal secret, what about the spirit of forgiveness, when they admit the truth and show sorrow and remorse?

Martin, I can't agree more (both DNA and Paper trail documented research), when you delve into Family History you can also expect to find anything.

Mark

[Finley 1]

I took mine under 'trepidation' 

As my wonderful Poppa in his last months of Dementia -- had advised me that I was not his child....

I was broken absolutely and did not think it is possible to accept that this man who was 'God' to me could hurt me as he did..

It was viscious -- and he meant it to hurt..

He meant it to hurt because ---at the time I was his sole carer  and my sister had sadly been taken from us .. so there was just me to 'get at'  - for his frustration with the world....and his illness  .. he had Vascular Dementia  which sometimes you have good days when you do know who what and where.. 

ANYHOW  it was too late for DNA then but when the opportunity came up  I took it...

My Parents marriage had been a rocky one and Mother was a bit of a one.. so I had cause to consider that this could be a possibility..

However the results of my DNA  place me SLAP bang amongst my Fathers line..
They also show that my Sisters son is my FULL nephew..
so hopefully that is evidence  -


I would rather now NOT know an arguement against the proof I have accepted..   let me now go on blithely   still loving my POPPA

xin

[panda40]

We have all got skeletons in our cupboards, I’m luck that these were discussed in the family and known about. How other react is something you can’t control I’m afraid. There has been numerous stories in the newspapers both here and in the USA of people finding out everything was not as they thought it was.
The hobby family history is to look at the generations before us warts and all and find out about them. If you don’t find out this information then you have to accept that someone else might.
Regards
Panda

[BushInn1746]

We have all got skeletons in our cupboards, I’m luck that these were discussed in the family and known about. How other react is something you can’t control I’m afraid. There has been numerous stories in the newspapers both here and in the USA of people finding out everything was not as they thought it was.
The hobby family history is to look at the generations before us warts and all and find out about them. If you don’t find out this information then you have to accept that someone else might.
Regards
Panda

Some Family Historians will find illegitimacy, a murderer or even incest.

Regarding reacting.

Perhaps best not to react at all immediately, the spur of the moment reaction is never a good one however pious or correct we may feel (unless it is a life-saving decision to save human life and even they need a degree of thought sometimes).

As someone has said, we all make mistakes, so hopefully we can accept those of others and a subsequent lie.

But it is often how we react.

Diplomacy is the key and either saying (or hearing the word) sorry can go a long way. Difficult to say sometimes, but "sorry" is a most essential word, just like please and thank you, are.

I certainly would NOT want the trashy, agressive and often bitter, Jeremy Kyle Show, type of reation!

Mark