Should I just bin all my reserach and forget about it?

[pharmaT]

Oh dear --

So it was a fellow Roots Chatter   --     
One of our Caring Clan - One of US - 

So where are they NOW hiding ?!

and how brave of you to write it all on here knowing that they too can read it.

he/she (note no capitals - only for the deserv-ed) 

Needs to throw their side of the arguement in.. and explain --
WHY
one RCer --seemingly - asked for advice or maybe looked to for friendship and something with which to be 'buddies' with Virtually being safer than reality -- 
Did they SAY what they have to you.

Or has it all been blown out of proportion

 both sides need seeing on here.

It is so easy to misconstrue a comment  - and especially difficult to build a strong relationship - virtually.

This person could well be ' Supercillious' as has been suggested... OR.... just opened their mouth at the wrong time - with the wrong words.

Stand up and be counted... time

xin

Well unlike my normal I asked at the time what should do about my research and didn't get an answer other than a repeat of how bad it is.

[groom]

Where was this, Pharma - I guess it wasn't on an open board otherwise there would have been plenty of people who would have told that person they were wrong? As I said before, the answer is easy - if it was a PM, block them. If it was in the chatroom either don't go there or ignore them.

I really don't think that inviting that person to answer for themselves on an open board is a good idea, and certainly isn't in the spirit of RC. They gave their opinion as they see it, whether you chose to accept that opinion from one person is up to you but certainly isn't worth getting upset about. If you feel they are harassing you, report them to a Moderator.

[louisa maud]

Parma, I haven't read all of this but who are the
"they"  who have told you to ditch it, please don't, I have been doing my research since 1994 started by accident I might add, it will be for my family

So once again , PLEASE DON'T  bin it

Louisa Maud

[pharmaT]

Where was this, Pharma - I guess it wasn't on an open board otherwise there would have been plenty of people who would have told that person they were wrong? As I said before, the answer is easy - if it was a PM, block them. If it was in the chatroom either don't go there or ignore them.

I really don't think that inviting that person to answer for themselves on an open board is a good idea, and certainly isn't in the spirit of RC. They gave their opinion as they see it, whether you chose to accept that opinion from one person is up to you but certainly isn't worth getting upset about. If you feel they are harassing you, report them to a Moderator.

I wasn't challenging them as an individual.  It wasn't my intention.  I geniuinely wanted advice on what to do.  I was sitting crying, doubting myself and considering if I should give up my only hobby.  I needed someone to give me rational advice as I was too upset to make a decision. Spoiling RC was not my intention. I was torn, felt I had to leave and quit my hobby and other than work it's the only human contact I have.

Thank you for pointing out my failings as a RCer,I'll remove myself.  hopefully those I've upset can forgive me anad understand I didn't mean to.

[Finley 1]

Now you are not thinking straight. 

You Need to just close the door on all this and step away ... from it for 24hrs or so..

'Chill' as they say   and when you feel refreshed.. you can start again

We do not want RID  we want you to appreciate YOURSELF more.. 
GET the mirror out and some lipstick and write on it your achievements in life..

AND do not give me... I havent got anything to write..

24 hrs re-evaluating this situation and getting wrapped up in Christmas .. is a good idea.

XXin

[groom]

If you read the previous answers, it was Xin who mentioned asking the person to explain themselves, so my answer was a general observation. Perhaps that is a perfect example of how things can be taken out of context.

Why should you think you've upset anyone - no one has mentioned being upset?

[River Tyne Lass]

I am just adding my thoughts to this.. pharmaT it doesn't appear to me that anyone thinks you have failed as a RootsChatter.

It seems to me by the number of response posts and the comments that others care that you are feeling upset and are trying to encourage you not to give up your hobby.  I hope you will 're-think about removing yourself - I am sure none of us would want that. 

I wonder if you might be feeling a bit depressed and might be seeing things out of context? To echo Sloe Gin - did the person actually use those specific words that your tree was 'worthless?'

If they did, ignore this.  If doing genealogy gives you enjoyment don't let anyone put you off.  It is your tree and you have every right to do things your way and not someone else's way.  Just think one day there may be a keen genealogist in one of your future direct/indirect descendants who would love to get their hands on your research.

It's a long story, but I have been given possession of various genealogical notes written by one of my Grandmother's half sisters.  I can't tell you how much I actually appreciate this - even though she made some 'mistakes' which I have been able to discover through certs and archive trips.  This person wrote fantastic notes which have been fascinating to me - even the errors.   My Grandmother's half sister had been encouraged to write these notes by her own sister-in-law but apparently at the time she did not have any clue how much this work would be appreciated by me and others in the family line of the future. 

This has turned out a bit long winded but to sum things up ..

Please don't leave .. we want you to stay.

Please don't give up if this is something which has previously given you enjoyment and which still could. 

Lastly, and I mean this kindly, please consider if you might be depressed and might therefore be vulnerable to taking things out of context.

[Caw1]

Pharma T
I'm really concerned that you feel you have to leave RC, there are so many people on here who are caring, sharing. It's a great place to come when you need a bit of a boost what ever circumstances are going on in your life.

The topics are many and various and there is always someone with a comment that will make you laugh or smile and to be able to join in and get positive feedback is a wonderful thing.

As I said before I've chatted to you in the chat room and always found you to be a genuine caring person

SO PLEASE DONT THINK OF LEAVING RC its a life line for many and comforting to know there is always someone there who understands.

Your tree is your tree and NOONE has the right to tell you it's worthless, just ignore them and try to put it behind you and think about all the positive comments that have been made in this thread.

We're all behind you and rooting for you to stay.

Caroline

[MonicaL]

Pharma, your posts have made us sad for you and we so want to boost your confidence and spirit...and get you back to doing something that gives you such pleasure and enjoyment.

I remember a long time ago here on RC someone said some things to me both in the open forum and then continued via PMs that really upset me. I spoke to others here on RC and they helped me put those comments into a box that I then locked up and threw the key away!     

Don't ever forget that your research is your own, to share with your family. What a lovely thing to think of doing for your daughter I am just waiting for someone to send me their privately printed book on their research that they have done for their family. I know they have done it with much love. What does it matter if they forgot to cite some sources!

Family research is not academia. It is for me a rewarding and interesting pastime that gives me such pleasure. I don't mind if it for my family or that of others.  That is also the way you come across in the posts you have joined in the past here on RC. If we make mistakes or don't quote sources or haven't touched original docs...don't think our ancestors would care! They would just be happy that you are thinking of them and trying to make sense of their lives.

Monica