Should I just bin all my reserach and forget about it?

[pharmaT]

Until today I would have said any errors were not due to lack of trying and any lack of evidence was down to no evidence surviving or I just hadn't found it yet rather than I hadn't bothered to look but now I have doubts.

I think my daughter does love me, I heard her telling her friend se wanted something but wasn't going to ask me as she knew money was tight.  I know I embarrass her and she has been bullied at school because of a mother's low opinion of me, eg derogatory, classist remarks and writing my daughter off because of who her mum is.

[Finley 1]

silly billy  of course she loves you xxxx

she knows you are working as hard as you can.. keep smiling and be happy and be there for her...

always  ...even when its not reciprocated

kids is kids and we are walk overable  if we loves em

(well up to a bloomin point    )
xin

[sparrett]

You know what.
There are some people out there who are not good with human interactions and lack all understanding of nuance and courtesy.  Not able to empathise or feel with another’s point of view or respect feelings at all. 

Unfortunately you have encountered one of these people and you would do well to make a promise to yourself to steer clear in the future.

Sue

[Ruskie]

it matters because it represents what the majority of people think of me and I long to belong somewhere yet no I never will.

No it's what one person thinks not the majority those interested in family history probably couldn't care how you sourced your tree  only to glad someone else has done the work for them
and from the replies on here not what other family historians think either

Precisely!

This person whose opinion matters so much to you  ...... Has s/he touched or sighted
every single primary record for evey single event on his/her tree? Um. I very much doubt that. Unless maybe their tree consists of only themselves, their children and maybe parents or grandparents. 

I am wondering if you may have misinterpreted their comment? 

[pharmaT]

it matters because it represents what the majority of people think of me and I long to belong somewhere yet no I never will.

No it's what one person thinks not the majority those interested in family history probably couldn't care how you sourced your tree  only to glad someone else has done the work for them
and from the replies on here not what other family historians think either

Precisely!

This person whose opinion matters so much to you  ...... Has s/he touched or sighted
every single primary record for evey single event on his/her tree? Um. I very much doubt that. Unless maybe their tree consists of only themselves, their children and maybe parents or grandparents. 

I am wondering if you may have misinterpreted their comment? 

I haven't because when they said it I questioned what they meant, they repeated it slightly differently then I gave my explanation for why I thought my sources were ok and the best I would get I then got the lecture on me not understanding and how did I get my degree etc. So unfortunately not a misunderstanding, I clarified what they meant.

[Wendy2305]

I heard her telling her friend se wanted something but wasn't going to ask me as she knew money was tight.

As a mum and daughter this sentence tells me she loves you and of course she does you are her mum and would do anything for her
She doesn't want to ask because she knows you would try to buy the thing she would like even if it meant doing without yourself and she doesn't want to put you in that position

[coombs]

As we all know, it gets harder the further back in time we go, we get more and more gaps in PR's, older styles of handwriting which can be impossible to decipher, and less records in general as birth, marriage and death certs only started to come into place in 1837, and the first useful census is 1841, but the first really useful census is 1851. And I have 3 ancestors not born in county in 1841 but the Grim Reaper could not wait until 30th March 1851.

Maybe you are worrying too much about what some ignorant person has said, although it is hard to ignore criticism, as you often think "what if they are right"? But they are not right, they are just jealous or ignorant. Jealous people say nasty things about people that are opposite to what those people actually are. Too many people in this world are quick to judge, and love making others feel small to make themselves feel better.

[andrewalston]

This person can't possibly be serious. Handling a document does not make it a  primary source. If it did, could they PROVE that they had handled it? Have they a witness statement signed by a Notary Public or equivalent to back up their claim? Does the Magna Carta become a secondary source if you can only look at it through glass?

Maybe they only obey laws in the presence of the master copy held in the Houses of Parliament and the monarch who signed it into law. After all, anything else would be a secondary source, and therefore worthless.

[Nanna52]

PharmaT I don't know you or your situation but would like to make a couple of comments.
Firstly I think your daughter would love her tree for her birthday.  No-one else can give her that and she knows it will be done with much love and care.  I base this on my own experience with my son and his grandparents, one set gave him money for birthdays and Christmas the other time and well thought out gifts.  He loved them.
Living in Australia there is no way I can get to physically see primary certificates for my English and Welsh ancestors.  I am not throwing that away because of that.
I contacted a researcher who had my great aunts details wrong and corrected them.  Fortunately I didn't give certificates as I later found out he was a paid researcher.
A cousin paid a lot of money for a researcher to break a brick wall for him.  Within a couple of years we had disproved what he wrote and confirmed it later with DNA.  The problem we had was that my great great grandmother never put his middle name in her records.
Just remember nothing is perfect we just do the best we can within the limits we have.