My mother discussed in great detail with me her wishes for her funeral some time before she died. She laid out the programme for the service, specifying which tunes she wanted for each hymn and which readings specific people would read, even down to my nephew playing the organ. She wanted lots of flowers! It seemed to give her some comfort to do this and we were happy to carry out her instructions. My aunt, on the other hand, well into her 80s when her husband died, simply said, "We never talked about it" when I asked what kind of a funeral we should arrange for him.