Hi Ospan,
Trying to clarify here

I think you may have got a little tangled with two generations of RAINHAM’s
That is why your dates in your first post are looking odd.
The older woman was Elizabeth Jane RAINHAM (nee Whitfield). Her parents are as yet unknown.
She married Henry Bartholomew Martin RAINHAM in NSW.
Among their children was Jane Elizabeth RAINHAM. born 1883. She died in 1933.
It was the older, Elizabeth Jane RAINHAM, and her husband Henry who had Hester/Esther Ann Frances RAINHAM in 1881 (14992). (She was therefore a sister of Jane Elizabeth)
She married William Hayes GARE in 1905 (4338).
{I suspect the GARE family is of interest to you, as you are contributing to another thread related to the family on the NZ board.}
A son of the older Elizabeth Jane RAINHAM and Henry Bartholomew was named after his father. So he was Henry Bartholomew Martin RAINHAM . He married a girl named Jane Elizabeth RAPER. And he died quite young in 1900.
It looks to me as if this Jane Elizabeth RAINHAM may then have married a brother of her deceased husband, William John RAINHAM who, as has been noted, was born in NSW.
All of the above is speculative thinking and made more difficult by the repeating of family names over generations. You would need a transcription of the NSW marriage between Henry Bartholomew Martin RAINHAM and Elizabeth Jane WHITEFIELD to find her parents’ names.
I'm sure all here would appreciate a response from you regarding efforts made.
EDITADDING. Had you noticed your heading uses the name WHITFORD, but you are actually seeking WHITFIELD? Might be a good idea to change it to save confusion.
Sue