Hello there.
The dilemma of what to put in the family bulletins, that your genealogy research reveals.
My genealogy research odyssey started in the 1970’s when the LDS imported into New Zealand, films containing church records I was interested in, in the UK. At the same time, one of my Aunts started a mail out campaign to her cousins, asking for details of their respective families within NZ.
We were very fortunate that our handed down oral history, was relatively easily confirmed by church / parish records back to the 1790’s. It was not long before we had quite a tree, but one early NZ branch [1860’s] eluded our initial quest for family info. They were the senior pairing of two siblings, whom married two siblings, of another family. They were early NZ pioneering families sharing quite common names, and while we obtained several hundred names to add to the tree of the younger pairing, nothing was forth coming from the senior pairing, to help sort out the names obtained from our early NZ records, that were readily available at the time.
I still have a letter from the local district library, who said they had no relevant info to assist. The suggestion was, that those two braches had not spoken to each other for quite some time because of a business dispute. Then some ten years later I was contacted by a Genealogist researcher from that rural area, who was after further background info from my published research, of the UK records. It turned out this person was from our empty greater family branch, so I was soon in possession of detailed research notes, and some 250 names.
The detailed research notes, and accompanying table thereof, showed that one of the larger [number of siblings] families there on, had raised their first grandson as one of their own, his mother being quite young at the time.
I assumed this was public knowledge, as nothing in the supplied notes hinted that this issue, was a family secret.
Roll on another ten years, and I spotted a death notice with a not so common given name, that prompted me to seek out this person for more info. They were easily found in the white pages, being a civil servant, in one of our larger cities. I explained that a genealogist researcher named XYZ from their extended family had supplied family tree info, and that I was keen to know if they were related to the person in the death notice, and if they were in a position to fill me in with more detail. Or was I on the wrong track.
There followed an open, precise, and engaging discussion about this deceased person, and the civil servants extended family. And because I did not have their family spread sheet in front of me, several times in the wide ranging conversation, the person being discussed was referred to as Aunt X, or Uncle Y or as cousin, niece, nephew etc. for my benefit. I was very quickly aware that this person was NOT publicly acknowledging, that they were actually born into the next generation, but raised as a sibling of their Mother, Aunts and Uncles.
Upon hanging up the phone I was left, very thankful that I had not put my foot in it at the start of our introductory conversation, but even more so wondering how much their spouse and teenage family were aware of. By the very nature of being a civil servant, I presume, that they moved around the country for promotions, and were therefore somewhat distant from the Rural community the civil servant grew up in, where it may have been more common knowledge.
Because of this experience I prefer to research in the more distant past, and leave the issues of the now living, to future generations.
- Alan.
