Have you ever..felt a little uncomfortable..

[Josephine]

I myself have issues with alcohol. Am I an alcoholic? Not certain I would qualify medically but others may say I am if I cant have a drink without wanting another. Is it worth mentioning on a family tree? It may well be the last thing I type in as I slip off the perch.

Now I have a mental image of someone on the verge of death insisting on typing one last line into his (or her) family history program.

 

[DavidG02]

I myself have issues with alcohol. Am I an alcoholic? Not certain I would qualify medically but others may say I am if I cant have a drink without wanting another. Is it worth mentioning on a family tree? It may well be the last thing I type in as I slip off the perch.

Now I have a mental image of someone on the verge of death insisting on typing one last line into his (or her) family history program.

 

With all the medical equipment beeping and twirping I am certain they wont hear my IPhone tapping away

[Josephine]

Thanks Josephine,

The story affected me when I read it so I can only speculate how my father would have taken it.
There are family still alive (cousins of the perpetrator) & their parents (siblings of the woman who died) who are more closely related than my father was. They may have been in close contact too, living in the same country (I'm not sure on that)?

I have sent reports etc. in the past on my family tree to the cousins, one is actually a Policeman!!! but no way would I include that unless specifically asked if I knew about it. I wouldn't lie about finding it but I very much doubt the family would wish to be "associated" with it, being so closely connected & the trauma of it all, I guess they would prefer it to be "left alone" as it was their aunt.

Annie

Annie,

A friend of my family's (a young girl of 17) was murdered 30 years ago; the case has never been solved. It took more than two decades before I stopped dreaming about her at certain times of the year. Her death was so traumatic -- I cannot imagine what family members go through.

Some things are better left alone. Sometimes it is merciful to withhold facts that would only cause undue suffering. We can only hope that we make the right decision in such sensitive times.

Best regards,
Josephine

[Josephine]

With all the medical equipment beeping and twirping I am certain they wont hear my IPhone tapping away

LOL, I forgot about phones! I was imagining someone having to fight off the ambulance attendants to stay at a computer. Ha!

[Ruskie]

Annie,
Regarding the incident you refer to, wouldn't members of the close and distant family be aware of this tragic event? (particularly if reported in newspapers at the time) 

And yes Josephine, some of the naughty ones are more interesting to research, and easier too if their names ended up in the papers. 

[Beeonthebay]

Annie,
Regarding the incident you refer to, wouldn't members of the close and distant family be aware of this tragic event? (particularly if reported in newspapers at the time) 

And yes Josephine, some of the naughty ones are more interesting to research, and easier too if their names ended up in the papers. 

Perhaps it depends on how old the family members were at the time or their sex?

My mother knew nothing of the fact that her father's cousin had killed his wife, despite them all living in the same part of town.  She was about 14 at the time, I don't know if it was kept from her because she was female because her younger brother certainly knew and told his daughter (my cousin) about it.  Though he knew no details he did say there was a murder committed by a family member.

I only looked into it recently and found it on the FindMyPast newspaper collection with two reports and also doing a google search of his name the case is mentioned in a book about (Dame) Rose Heilbron.  He was actually convicted of manslaughter and got 10 years.

My tree is private and I don't do the Ancestry sharing thing so I have no qualms about putting these facts in there but if I was to go public (very unlikely) I'd have to think about any consequences, would there be a backlash if any of his children were now on Ancestry?

On another note I have 2 sibling cousins who were adopted, now I'm not sure if they even know this as it's been many years since I've seen them.  Maybe they do, maybe they don't but I don't feel it's my business to inform the world, so they are on my tree as being children of the parents.

[pinefamily]

There have been some good points made on here about information/anecdotes/etc. I think the question we should all ask ourselves is, how is this relevant to our family history? Does it affect our ancestors' lives, or what bearing did it have on their future behaviour/actions? If the answer is little or none, then perhaps it is not worth noting. If the answer is the opposite, then it should be noted for posterity, warts and all. The two things that may affect this are public sharing of trees, and those in living memory.

[Beeonthebay]

Annie,
Regarding the incident you refer to, wouldn't members of the close and distant family be aware of this tragic event? (particularly if reported in newspapers at the time) 

And yes Josephine, some of the naughty ones are more interesting to research, and easier too if their names ended up in the papers. 

Perhaps it depends on how old the family members were at the time or their sex?

My mother knew nothing of the fact that her father's cousin had killed his wife, despite them all living in the same part of town.  She was about 14 at the time, I don't know if it was kept from her because she was female because her younger brother certainly knew and told his daughter (my cousin) about it.  Though he knew no details he did say there was a murder committed by a family member.

I only looked into it recently and found it on the FindMyPast newspaper collection with two reports and also doing a google search of his name the case is mentioned in a book about (Dame) Rose Heilbron.  He was actually convicted of manslaughter and got 10 years.

My tree is private and I don't do the Ancestry sharing thing so I have no qualms about putting these facts in there but if I was to go public (very unlikely) I'd have to think about any consequences, would there be a backlash if any of his children were now on Ancestry?

On another note I have 2 sibling cousins who were adopted, now I'm not sure if they even know this as it's been many years since I've seen them.  Maybe they do, maybe they don't but I don't feel it's my business to inform the world, so they are on my tree as being children of the parents.

I've just checked on Ancestry and about 4 or 5 people have the man who killed his wife on their tree.  They only have the birth and death of him from the BMD indexes.  Nothing more as he is about as distant from them as I am.  1st cousin 2x removed.

[Guy Etchells]

Unfortunately now you claim to be quoting a previous post whilst displaying an amended post.
This simply distorts the truth of what was originally written.
However I am sure this is a genuine error rather than an attempt to deceive.

 

Sorted!!! I was in a rush to go out as it happens.

Instead of "digging me up" for my errors, maybe you should have read my post properly 

If I find something such as a relative "charged & convicted" of manslaughter in regard to his own mother (which I have).....

In the above situation the research has come across a case of manslaughter but we are not told whether it was voluntary manslaughter or involuntary manslaughter; on reading the post I get the feeling the writer relates the case as if it was the man murdered his mother, but that is not what the court found.

Due to the conclusion the writer reached she then decides she would have withheld the information from her father to prevent her father knowing about it.

I cases like this I think of my mother in law who gave birth to a stillborn child.

Can you not differentiate between my words.......("charged & convicted" of manslaughter)?

That does not equate to your words "on reading the post I get the feeling the writer relates the case as if it was the man murdered his mother, but that is not what the court found."

If you read what I wrote you would see I did make the differentiation by the use of the words “I get the feeling”. If I had simply written the writer relates the case as the man murdered his mother, that would be a different matter but the expression I used made the differentiation.

Does it really matter (in your words) "whether it was voluntary manslaughter or involuntary manslaughter".........the fact is he was convicted & jailed but also by his own admission.

Yes it does matter, the difference between the two is the difference between a person doing something knowing that what he/she was doing would result in death and a person causing a death through irresponsibility or recklessness.

You are now retracting the fact that you were compairing my story & reasoning for not relaying it, to your story which (in your words were) "I cases like this I think of my mother in law who gave birth to a stillborn child".........I won't "dig you up" on your grammar on that sentence though 

If that's not a comparison then what is it 

My story was to illustrate horrific findings, which I didn't set out to look for but how it can affect close loved ones & best not mentioned.

My father was 90 yrs old & time was not on his side so there is no way on this earth I would intentionally have given him the chance of his life being shortened by a heart attack through shock.

So, to finish off, I did not make any assumptions or come to any "conclusion" on the "manslaughter" case, unlike your assumption of me, your words "Due to the conclusion the writer reached".

My info. is in black & white in the newspapers along with a photo of the perpetrator & the whole story of physical abuse/violence & starvation of the mother.

Annie

That is exactly why I stated in my disclaimer “I am drawing my conclusions based on very minimal facts given in the original posting above. We must be aware that further research into the facts of the case and the relationships within the family could possibly cause a change in my conclusions in limited circumstances.”

You have since given more details for instance

However, had my father been alive when I did find it.........no, I would not have told him

Then later it seems your father was alive at the time

My father was 90 yrs old & time was not on his side so there is no way on this earth I would intentionally have given him the chance of his life being shortened by a heart attack through shock.

It seems you are confusing yourself in and effort to discredit what I wrote based on the facts you had given originally.
I would also add I have not checked that the quote links here refer to the correct posting there may be errors but it is easy enough to trawl through the thread to ensure the link points to the correct entry
Cheers
Guy