Have you ever..felt a little uncomfortable..

[mike175]

Anecdotal information on living people is surely a step too far!

If there is documented evidence for such things I would record them as 'Facts' under the appropriate heading: Newspaper Cuttings, etc. If it is family knowledge or rumour passed by word of mouth I would keep a note of it but possibly not pass it on if it might be sensitive or controversial.

Mike.

[pinefamily]

It's a fine line between actual anecdote or even fact and someone's opinion.

[Rosinish]

I think your case has no resemblance to mine....2 totally different topics

A stillborn birth is not manslaughter nor a crime worth imprisonment. Had my father's cousin been murdered by a stranger I still would have refrained from causing my father distress.

Annie

I was not saying they were the same I was trying to explain how people can unintentionally get hurt when things are not discussed.

Cheers
Guy

PS instead of using pretty colours to add text to another persons posting why not simply use the

tag to end the quote and allow a comment to be added.

The way you have done it looks as if I have added some of the the remarks you have not even been consistent in the colours used with the result it looks as if different people have added the accentuated comments
[/quote]

Sorted!!! I was in a rush to go out as it happens.

Instead of "digging me up" for my errors, maybe you should have read my post properly 

If I find something such as a relative "charged & convicted" of manslaughter in regard to his own mother (which I have).....

In the above situation the research has come across a case of manslaughter but we are not told whether it was voluntary manslaughter or involuntary manslaughter; on reading the post I get the feeling the writer relates the case as if it was the man murdered his mother, but that is not what the court found.

Due to the conclusion the writer reached she then decides she would have withheld the information from her father to prevent her father knowing about it.

I cases like this I think of my mother in law who gave birth to a stillborn child.

Can you not differentiate between my words.......("charged & convicted" of manslaughter)?

That does not equate to your words "on reading the post I get the feeling the writer relates the case as if it was the man murdered his mother, but that is not what the court found."

Does it really matter (in your words) "whether it was voluntary manslaughter or involuntary manslaughter".........the fact is he was convicted & jailed but also by his own admission.

You are now retracting the fact that you were compairing my story & reasoning for not relaying it, to your story which (in your words were) "I cases like this I think of my mother in law who gave birth to a stillborn child".........I won't "dig you up" on your grammar on that sentence though 

If that's not a comparison then what is it 

My story was to illustrate horrific findings, which I didn't set out to look for but how it can affect close loved ones & best not mentioned.

My father was 90 yrs old & time was not on his side so there is no way on this earth I would intentionally have given him the chance of his life being shortened by a heart attack through shock.

So, to finish off, I did not make any assumptions or come to any "conclusion" on the "manslaughter" case, unlike your assumption of me, your words "Due to the conclusion the writer reached".

My info. is in black & white in the newspapers along with a photo of the perpetrator & the whole story of physical abuse/violence & starvation of the mother.

Annie

[Andrew Tarr]

Would you put someone's alcoholism into a tree? Where would you put it and why? I ask because it's not something I've considered before.

One of my wife's g-g-grandfathers died in 1855 of cirrhosis, after losing his youngest son, father, wife and mother over the previous 6 or 7 years.  It's too far back to have heard of 'alcoholism', but that sounds like a possible scenario?

[DavidG02]

RE: Alcoholism.

Interesting the things we come across. I guess it would ,once again, depend on what makes it important. To explain many mentions of court appearances within newspapers- I have no problems including it. There are a series of behaviors' that can be explained - not excused- with alcoholism.

To add it to a family tree because it is common FAMILY knowledge without any other reason gives me pause. I would have to understand how its inclusion would be noteworthy

[Ruskie]

If my tree is for me and my descendants rather than being public, I would include anecdotes. I think they can add to the bigger picture and tells something of their personalities. I would tell the stories to any other close relatives if they were interested - descendants of other branches would be unlikely to want to read this kind of more personal information so probably no point including it on a public tree.

I don't agree with looking at ancestors through rose colored glasses, which I think some people do. They are long dead, and I am interested in them warts and all, and I am sure that many of them I probably would not like.

I do think though, that often it is the stories of bad behavior/traits tend to get passed down rather than the stories of how nice and kind they may have been. Possibly the negative stories were more shocking or had more impact on family members and therefore were remembered.

I have numerous small anecdotes relating to my family ... none of them are good things ....

[majm]

.....

http://www.gsv.org.au/images/stories/Forms/Ethics.pdf

"Be sensitive to the hurt that revelations of criminal, immoral,
bizarre or irresponsible behaviour may bring to family members;"

http://www.gsv.org.au/   The Genealogical Society of Victoria

ADD
http://www.affho.org/affho/ethics.php

If you are a member of a family history group in Australia, please remind your Management Committee of the following
 http://www.affho.org/affho/nick_vine_hall_award.php

" The late Nick Vine Hall fervently supported and represented AFFHO at a National level in a S ave the Census Campaign in the mid 1980's. Nick utilised his personable skills as a researcher, author, radio presenter, and speaking engagements towards the final achievement that was announced by the Federal Government of their acceptance of the Standing Committee on Legal and Constitutional Affairs report Saving our Census and Preserving Our History . This permitted citizens across Australia to “opt in” and allow retention of their 2001 and future Census information, under closed access for 99 years, by the National Archives of Australia, and in so doing, made a valuable contribution to preserving Australia's history for future generations. "


Cheers,  JM

[Ruskie]

Each circumstance is different, but I think sometimes knowing things about our ancestors can help explain certain traits or personalities as they may shape how our parents, and grandparents were brought up, which in turn can shape us. 

Digging around in the last can be enlightening too - i was always told of my staunchly religious strict teetotal family, and I found this great great grandmother living and working in a public house in the 1851 census with her licenced victualler father. If it wasn't for a couple of unpleasant family anecdotes I would not have known about her religious persuasion and I wouldn't have thought twice about finding her in a pub. This helps me understand her a little better. Her attitudes and beliefs then affected later generations.

Added:obviously these stories are of no interest to anyone but direct descendants (and I have found none as yet), but I would pass them on if requested.

[Josephine]

Josephine,
You have raised some interesting points there. Recording facts, pleasant or otherwise, is one thing; behaviours, attitudes, addictions, etc. are another. I do record "family stories" as such, but as yet haven't had to record an "unpleasant" one.
That tree you found is a bit of poor form though. 

Pinefamily, based on your experience, I wonder if it depends on whether we have "had" to record that kind of info due to the bigger story.

I saw that tree a few years ago on a site that didn't have a privacy option. I checked recently and it doesn't seem to be there anymore.

Best regards,
Josephine