How to react - when finding untruths

[Finley 1]

I am deep into my Patricks - _{(maybe you are all aware - sorry )} and last night I was, angry and upset and then ok and then angry again - I woke up this morning - and wondered why what I had found bothered me so much.. 
To explain a little but not all cos its something I am not proud !!!

Last night - I was 'working' a  4th cousin twice removed I know a long way distant...
and found he was born in 1893.
So looking for further info, found his marriage and then ---- his Army Record, circa 1916 - and was surprised to see how quickly he was discharged!
His 'trade' was in the theatre - basically a musical hall act.

I know who his parents were and yes his Mom was a Patrick but his dad was foreign...

He !!!!!! decided - on call up - to change his Nationality -  and eventually after much --- Hoo --- Haa --- it was accepted that both his Parents were Foreign etc etc etc,   - which Unless his mother changed to accept her husbands nationality - does not seem to be true..

Its so long ago and so distant that it shouldn't bother me...
I have found snippets in the paper of his shows and the problem regarding all this..

needless to say I am 'narked'  (that's an old word, that came into my head just at that moment.)

Don't like to drop his name all over the net... there are clever enough people on here to find him, and or I can pm you with further details.....

NOT ASHAMED, understand - he was worried about joining up... but darned Angry - he preferred to prance about on the stage, than go and fight for HIS country.   I lost so many relatives in that war as did so many on here, I feel he was very very naughty to say the least...

oh dear... get over it    (telling myself)


xin

[LizzieW]

Xin - don't worry about him. 

As anyone reading my past posts will know, my paternal grandfather was discharged from the army (pre 1914) to an asylum, apparently because he was a danger to himself and the other soldiers, yet within 6 weeks he was discharged and within a year married to my gran.  He, too, was a musician and didn't fight during WW1, even though both his brothers did and his youngest brother was killed in 1917.  My father said he wasn't a pleasant man, with a rip roaring temper towards his family - probably charming when on stage  he even told his family he was an orphan, despite having 3 sisters and 2 brothers - which I only found out about when researching his family.

I just think some people are not cut out to be soldiers and I remember his two brave brothers instead, especially his younger brother on 11 November.

[StanleysChesterton]

Well, it's a long time ago now - and who knows what decisions we'd actually make if we were suddenly called up to step in front of actual real enemies and real bullets.

I know I'd be petrified and if I could find some little loophole I'd use it.  Growing up in the 60s I worried about being called up .... and I think my modus operandi would've been to collapse and sob, uncontrollably, forever...... I'd be deemed mad and sent packing.

Fear does strange things to us all.

There are many reasons not to fight, not necessarily to do with fear, or cowardice, or being lazy - sometimes, in our lives, there are people we are supporting/looking after etc who we feel wouldn't be able to live/cope without us.  So they're saving lives at home.

For some it's hard not to judge, with today's values and living standards being our "norm", but they were different times, with different hardships and really tough choices to be made.

Of course ... he could simply have been utterly, utterly terrified - and therefore would've been a danger to any comrades when in a life-threatening situation.  Nobody wants/needs a scaredy cat in their team, they can cost lives too.

[KGarrad]

For many years (can't find when it changed, yet!) on marriage a woman assumed the nationality of her husband. And children assumed the nationality of their parents.

So he was perfectly correct!


EDIT: The Convention on the Nationality of Married Women, passed by UN in 1957, entered into force in 1958.
Currently ratified by 74 states.

The 1914 British Nationality and Status of Aliens Act 1914 stated:
British subject status was normally lost by:
in the case of a woman, upon marriage to a foreign man. Prior to 1933, British subject status was lost even if the woman did not acquire her husband's nationality.

[heywood]

For many years (can't find when it changed, yet!) on marriage a woman assumed the nationality of her husband. And children assumed the nationality of their parents.

So he was perfectly correct!

That sounds a good reason.
Perhaps also 'prancing about on a stage' helped others - a distraction.
If this was an'untruth', it's only one you have found Xin. There could be others from other relatives which might make you feel even more narked but they managed to cover them up!
Sometimes, we hear unpleasant stories which have been passed on about our ancestors but we weren't there and and we know we are very nice people- so it's not hereditary

[aghadowey]

Yes, years ago a woman automatically took her husband's nationality upon marriage. My great-aunt (born in America) became a Turkish citizen when she married an Armenian refugee- without even leaving the state where she was born! A few years later she became a U.S. citizen again when he became one.

[zannette]

I would just like to tell you about my father's first cousin. He joined up in 1898 and was in trouble right from the start; missing from parade repeatedly and found drunk in the nearby town. Became violent when taken back to barracks. Went on to take part in the relief of Ladysmith and won the Queens South Africal medal, and they didn't hand those out like smarties. So he wasn't a coward. Served 5 years on a distant outpost in India and continued with bad behaviour; found in antive womens brothel etc. Come the war he was sent to France and took part in one of the first battles. 1915 he deserted in France and forfeited medals.

I like to think that he was a brave man, but when he experienced the utter stupidity of trench warefare, he decided he wanted no part of it. Please don't think I am disparaging those men who continued to fight in WWI, even though it must have seemed like madness to them.

[Finley 1]

Thank you 'ALL'   on reflection, then I can understand a little more   just the immediate - reaction to the discovery.  And yes there are definite other little fibs amongst this 'crew' over the years. 
This felt worse at first read it seemed to me a cowards get out clause was found and used..

I am a judgemental old so and so... (take after my Pops ) anyhow appreciate remarks and understanding - thank you

its a strange one.. 

xin 

[Gone]

It looks like we've all got one somewhere in our past.
Mine would be my granddad's cousin,
Discharged after a short spell in the army (WW1) because his epileptic fits were so bad, and sometimes violent, he had to be hospitalised and watched 24/7.
His profession before and after his service....chauffeur!
I hope he wore his swb with pride!