Not Sure How I Feel About This...

[Lisajj]

I'm glad my situation seems to be helping others but I'm also saddened to read some of your stories - I really hope and pray that you will one day find those you are looking for, I really do.
Further on from this, we have now found another child adopted at birth, and we are now waiting to see if this child wants to make contact (if they are still alive).
It has also meant that all the "secret" papers that belonged to my grandmother, currently reside in my hands (once I've copied them all, they are being returned to my uncle) and I'm now able to start creating a detailed time line of her life. The only thing that surprised me was the fact she was in the RAF! She never mentioned it at all! Although her reason for leaving was that she was pregnant so I suppose that's why she didn't tell me.
I understand about letting sleeping dogs lie, but I always think that what has happened cannot be changed and those things got us where we are now. I think that's why I didn't really know how I felt when I first started this thread!

[WhiskyMac]

"Letting sleeping dogs lie".

Good point Lisajj.

What you say makes a lot of sense. I will take a step back and re-think.

Thank you. 
 

[sylvia (canada)]

I am "letting sleeping dogs lie" ..............

I've been out of the UK since 1967, the child is now over 70 and, even if s/he goes searching for the father, I'm not going to see any messages or stories printed in local newspapers, etc. There are few relations left in that area, all of them even older than I am .......... and if one of them did see something, I can bet that it will be the same as happened in the 1980s. We saw one cousin on a visit back home, and she suddenly said "Oh, there was a piece in the local paper about 2 year ago asking if there were any members of the xxxxxxxx family still living here. Of course, I didn't reply." 

She was a member of that family via her mother!!

I'm satisfied in my own mind that I will never know anything more than I do now .......... but I am also satisfied with the knowledge that my own child is aware of the fact that she has another cousin "somewhere" so that the child is not completely lost to the family.

I've never solved the problem in my mind as to whether my brother's 2 surviving children should be told that they have/had a half-sibling.

[Lisajj]

Just though I would tell you that my "new" uncle came to see us over the weekend. What a lovely man! We chatted and I showed him all the history that I had. He asked questions, we answered the best we could. I took him around to see the houses his mother had lived in.
I also copied a lot of photos and certificates and info about his mum for him to take home. He was very emotional.
Also, he looked so much like his brother! In fact they could have been twins! So, we are now looking to see if there's anything to show they had the same father.
The bizarre thing is that my grandmother used the same name for both of them. One born and adopted out in 1944 and the other born and kept in 1947.
He said this is not the one and only time he will visit and I went to see him off when he caught his train today.
A very lovely, but emotional weekend.

[sylvia (canada)]

I am so glad to hear that the meeting went so well.

It must have been very emotional for him

[Finley 1]

My pops used to tell me about visits with his father !!! to see a friend of his Father and her son.

!!!!!!  Now nothing definite was proved, but my Father was convinced this other child was his Fathers --  So a half brother.

But I have no more information and no way of tracing him - he would have been born circa 1916 in Leicester and that is all I know.

Not going there allll tooo late,  but such a shame.

  :-Xxin