I don't know what to do

[barbaramc]

I "met" some folks through Ancestry.  They are supposed to be descended from my great grand mother and they live in England.  My sister went to England last summer and went to diner with them and we have been corresponding.  They seem like wonderful people who don't have tons of money.  They are also quite old.

They are making a long dreamed of trip to the US, flying into NY and driving cross country and staying with my sister in Phoenix to see the desert and then me for a week or so to tour California. I found out about 6 weeks ago that there was a mistake and we are not related. (I have not changed my Ancestry tree)

It goes without saying that they are welcome at my house and at my sister's.  My question to you is, do I ever tell them what I found or do I just forget about it? And if I tell them, when?

I would under no circumstances tell them before they embark on their trip. I'm afraid they would want to skip staying with my sister and me, and having free housing for some part of the trip is what is allowing them to spend as much time touring around a country they have long wanted to visit.  I also think they, being as old as they are, like the idea of having local family who can help them if they run into any sort of trouble.

I sort of think it would be fun to go out to diner, toast new friends and then spring the truth on them.  On the other hand I think it might be wise to just not say anything. Ever.

what do you all think?

[maggbill]

Hi Barbara,
Well, I see no-one else has replied !!  It certainly is an interesting situation to find  yourself in.  Personally, I would agree with  your plan, to enjoy their company, and let them know as a culmination to the visit.  Okay, there may be a little disappointment, but I am sure that your welcome and hospitality will certainly compensate for that and they will be delighted to have met you just the same - a friendship which hopefully will last a long time!  Not to tell them at all wouldn't be fair in many ways. 
Good luck with it all !!

[Jennaya]

It's a difficult decision. I would probably wait until after the trip, after all you only found out 6 weeks ago - what if you had found out 6 weeks after they went home.

[sunflower]

Hi

I think you ought to tell them. but after they have returned to England.  Let them have their dream holiday first. 

What would you do if the situation was reverse?   If you were coming to England to see them and found out just before you came that there was no connection?  I think I would still do the same. It would be only a little white lie.  As they are very old, it must be lovely to find a new family

Carol

[maggbill]

Excellent alternative Jennaya!  Maybe see how the visit goes and make a choice then? 

[Jennaya]

That's what I would do.

[Bee]

Hi

If you do tell them the truth they will probably be very embarrassed after having accepted your hospitality and maybe even resentful of you for withholding the truth.

Hope all goes well whatever you decide.

Bee
 

[Treetotal]

Given their age...and the thrill and excitement of meeting you and their planned trip....what would you gain from telling them...they may end up feeling deceived and embarrassed....I think I would enjoy their company and say nothing rather than burst their bubble and leave them feeling deflated...sometimes it's kinder to keep the truth to yourself. They can take home some wonderful memories and stories...or they can confess to friends and family that whilst they had a wonderful time...there was no family connection after all.
But...follow your heart and I'm sure you will make the decision that is right for you all.
Good Luck!
Carol

[Stanwix England]

I agree with Treetotal.