I have also found the recitation about The Mushrooms that I had on my record 60 years ago. This was partly by chance for I was researching Ryton and so came across the most excellent Blaydon Burn History web page by Geordie Singer Roly Veitch -
http://www.rolyveitch.20m.com/BlaydonBurn.html Thinking that he may know about that old recitation I asked and he found it. It is called "A Tow For Nowt" and it is in this long list of old Geordie sangs -
http://www.archive.org/stream/allansillustrat00firgoog/allansillustrat00firgoog_djvu.txt The Copyright has long expired and so it can be reproduced as long as not used for financial gain:
A TOW FOR NOWT.
Oh, wor cargo we'd got oot, away doon at Whitehill Spoot;
But the wind an' tide wis both on them contrairy, O!
An' it seemed we'd hae te lie till the tide wis comin' high,
So the keel we moored, an' leuked aboot se wary, O.
Chorus,
So the keel we moored, etc.
Just then, te wor delight, a tugboat hove i' sight,
An' backed astarn close by where we wor stannin', O.
Ses aa, noo aa'l accost hor! so aa hailed, 'Hey, Mistor Forster,
Wad ye gie's a tow as far up as wo'r gannin', O ? "
Then the tugboat-maistor torned, an' he leuked, an' kinda gorned,
Ses he, "Hoo dis thoo knaa they caal me Forster, O ? "
"Man," ses aa, "yor dad afore wis a chep aa did adore,
An' yo'r just like him, maa canny Mistor Forster, O."
Iv a frindly kind o' way, aa got a tow that day;
An' off we set, wi' nowt at aal te cost hor, O.
Aa bargaint wivoot doot, as aa past wor towlin' oot,
"At the Mushroom hoy hor off, please Mistor Forster, O."
So we cam' up spankin' fine, an' past aal on the Tyne —
Sic a tow for nowt aa waddent then he lost hor, O.
An' we just hed past The Geuse, an' aa thowt o' gettin' lowse;
So, ses aa, "Just hoy hor off, please Mistor Forster, O."
Wi' the tiller 'tween his legs, just like twee wooden pegs.
He nivvor torned, but oney went the faster, O.
Aa shoots oot, "Here we are, yor gannin' ower far;
Aa telt ye 'twas the Mushroom, Mistor Forster, O ! "
What wis deein noo wis clear, so aa couldn't help but sweer.
" Yo'r a bad 'un, yo'r as bad as ony coster, O !
An' so wis yor aad dad — gosh, he wis just as bad !
Where the smash, man, are ye towin's te, ye Forster, O ? "
But it aal wis o' nee use, owther sweerin' or abuse;
For a joke there Forster steud as deef as dummy, O ;
An' he waddent hoy us free till past Newcastle Quay,
So, thinks aa, a tow for nowt is sometimes rummy, O !
Richard Oliver Heslop 1882.
Roly's Blaydon Burn web page actually solved another mystery, that of my Oliver ancestors and places they lived around 1750. I'll tell that story on a new topic.
