old sayings

[leka]

If you came in dirty and had a quick wash (very quick) mum would say "you can grow potatoes behind those ears".
A old friend when being annoyed by someone would say "go and p**s down your leg and play with the steam".
"look what the cats dragged in"-to someone you haven't seen for a long time.

This is a great thread for a laugh
Leka

[Treetotal]

We called a quick wash..."A Lick and a Promise" 
Carol

[Mike in Cumbria]

"I'm so hungry I could eat a scabby horse."


That one doesn't sound so strange these days of Tesco value lasagnes though.

[radstockjeff]

"Useless?  'ees not worth three penn'orth o' cold p**s"

"Tight? e'll skin a turd for a tanner!"

Looks like a long drink of water.  Tall and skinny.

"How much change 'ave you got?"   "Nuff to buy the baby a new bonnet"

radstockjeff

[Annui]

When it was getting late, hadn't realised it and still much to do:

"It's 10 o'clock and not a whore in the house paid"
or
"It's ten o'clock and not a bairn in the house washed"

And variations. 

[Jool]

when referring to someone beautiful "oohh, she'd fetch ducks off water"

[jess5athome]

"Good looks don't cook dinner's"..................... to which my Grandfather always used to answer .....
" No but they help you to bl**dy eat them"   
Frank.

[BonnieDownUnder]

A fav one of OH when another gadget he has bought doesn't work:

"About as useful as a ashtray on a motor bike 

[joboy]

'Here it is 10 o'clock in the morning and not a bed made or a p***pot emptied and all the matelots coming down the street'

Just a true variation of Annui's post