There’s an interesting twist, here: both Grace, in a drafted letter that she actually crossed out and changed, and her father in a letter that seems to have been sent, mention to the Duke of Northumberland that Grace is constantly finding examples of marriages that have failed (and inconsequence hasn’t given marriage much thought).
It’s pure speculation, but maybe this is one of those bad marriages?!
As a side note, because I can’t remember where I picked this up and there is a very slight chance it was not from a letter as I recall, but from a fiction of which there are several…. But I’ve heard Cathrine senior referred to as Kitty Marsden in at least one place. I’m pretty sure there’s also some passing reference to the Marsden family as hosts to one of the artists or writers that visited the Darlings, but again I need to find this to reference it.
The sad coda is their gravestone St Aiden’s Church in Bamburgh; it commemorates the family of Joseph and Catherine (in the order they died, not the order listed here):
Isabella, d. 30/3/37 aged 10;
Cecilia, d. 14/8/36 aged 23;
Sarah Buck (married name), d 15/12/43 in Carrickfergus, aged 32
Henry Slaugher Buck (her son), d 17/8/36 aged 16 mo.
Catherine (senior), d.13/10/41 aged 59;
Catherine 10/4/44, aged 44
and finally, Joseph Marsden, who buried his wife, four daughters and a grandson, and who died on 28/8/54 aged 77.
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Note: the tombstone spells it ‘Catherine’; the census ‘Cathrine’; I’ve varied the two depending on what I was talking about!
One further note on names: the one Marsden daughter who lived, was christened Elizabeth Darling Marsden; born in Derbyshire in 1809 and living until October 1888 (from Ancestry family trees). The first on the tombstone, Isabella, has the middle name Brooks. This was another relative to the Darling family,
Robert Darling, Grace’s Grandfather, married Elizabeth Clark, and her sister Isabel Clark married the ‘original’ William Brooks, a successful local man of note (the biog. & marriage is from Richard Armstrong’s book, the name Isabel from a single mention of that spousal name without any source, on Ancestry). He’s uncle to Grace’s father (by marriage); and his wife is therefore Isabel Brooks (if the name is accurate).
Grace’s father had sisters named Elizabeth and Isabella – William & Isabella Brooks would be their uncle and aunt. Grace’s younger twin brother was christened William Brooks Darling, (and known as Brooks, as opposed to the eldest sibling William, son of William). That name runs down the later Darling line.
The connections of the names suggest (but don’t prove) that the Darling connection is no further back than Grace’s grandfather (Robert’s) generation: even so, with the marriage details you’ve sourced, and the identical dates on various Darling trees for a similar named person, I’d be pretty confident that Kitty Marsden is Catherine Darling, Grace’s aunt.
This is quite useful for the Darling tree, though it has the mysterious ‘Christian’ Darling, who surely must be Catherine Marsden:
http://freespace.virgin.net/john.elkin/darling001.htm#grace-
Key books on Grace Darling:
Grace Darling, her true story – ed Daniel Atkinson & Thomasin Darling c 1880
Grace Darling and Her Times – Constance Smedley, 1932
Grace Darling, Maid & Myth – Richard Armstrong, 1965
Grace Darling: Victorian Heroine – Hugh Cunningham, 2007
