My adopted father's birth mother 1942

[RaineyJ]

Hi Everyone.

This is my first time on Rootschat.....which has been highly recommended to me by a friend.

My father was adopted in 1942 in Scotland.   He now lives in England.   All we know from his birth certificate, is his birth mother's name, area of where she lived in scotland and where she worked.  No mention of a father was on birth certificate.   

My Father on and off has been trying to locate his birth mother but has not had much luck.  I think as he is getting older himself, 70 this year, I think he is more and more wanting to find the missing bits of his jigsaw.

I would be very grateful for any assistance in this matter.

Thanking you all in advance.  Rainey.

[jim1]

Hello & welcome
The National Archives of Scotland hold adoption records post 1930.Most still survive so I think that's your starting point.

jim

[RaineyJ]

Thanks Jim, I will certainly look into that.  It gets quite confusing as to where to look and obtain information especially with limited details that we hold.

Thanks for getting back to me.

RaineyJ

[clearly]

There is quite a lot of law regarding the tracing of birth parents and offspring and it can get quite involved.  I would suggest as a starting off point you cantact the adoption worker at your local Social Services Department.  They are expert in such matters and will handle things very sensitively.

I once ran a class on family history and one of the attendees, who had been adopted and traced his mother, was going to drive to Scotland the very next day, knock on a door and say "Hello, I'm the son you gave up for adoption." In the cicumstances, not only would his actions have been devasting to the old lady, they would also have been illegal.

It is not beyond the bounds of possibility that your grandmother is still alive so I would make it a priority to contact social services.  If you do manage to find her do not try to make contact yourself, leave it to the experts. Also Social Services can access records that ordinary members of the public will never see.

If you are unsure, PM me and I will send a short piece about what the law requires; if I can find it in my notes.

[1pds]

I once ran a class on family history and one of the attendees, who had been adopted and traced his mother, was going to drive to Scotland the very next day, knock on a door and say "Hello, I'm the son you gave up for adoption." In the cicumstances, not only would his actions have been devasting to the old lady, they would also have been illegal.

Hi Clearly, I'm not questioning your knowledge of adoption law (of which I know next to nothing  ) but if one has traced one's natural mother and knocked on her door to introduce oneself, which law is that breaking?   

[Little Nell]

Adoption is a very sensitive issue and what may work for one family might be totally wrong for another.

The reasons for giving up a child for adoption are legion.  Some people may always wonder what happened to the child, but keep the facts from their immediate family.  Some may well have done the equivalent of ticking the box to say that they would never contact or try to contact the child.

Here on RootsChat we encourage people to contact the specialists on such issues and not to rely on advice, however well intentioned, gleaned from the internet.

Rainey, please encourage your father to contact someone who will be able to offer him counselling on the best ways forward.  It may be that his mother has already died.  Have you tried finding out if her death has been registered?

Some further information on adoption in different parts of Britain together with some contact numbers can be found here:

http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php/topic,253490.0.html

Nell

[Finley 1]

I would say ... common decency..... or privacy.

Not many children that were given up for adoption, were given away without a lot of heartbreak to the Mother.  This decision was often forced on them by Parents or circumstance.

They then went out into the world, having to live with this decision, and a lot of them kept it secret, not only to protect themselves, but to give their child a chance of security in his/her new home..

How devastating then would it be for someone to come knocking willy nilly on your door and say I am your long lost child, without any preparation ....   that to me is not good.

perhaps no LEGAL reason then, but oh dear please tread very carefully

xin

[1pds]

In the cicumstances, not only would his actions have been devasting to the old lady, they would also have been illegal.

Xin and Nell,  I agree with everything you wrote. 

My question was which law would the child be breaking if the child introduced themselves to their natural mother.   

I agree fully with the comments about sensitivity, devastation, using specialists and social services etc - and I'm certainly not condoning such an action, just asking what would be illegal about it.

[Finley 1]

1pds

thanks for response   

I do go off sometimes, on my pet subjects...   ho hum..


xin