How not to cry at a funeral???

[avm228]

Just one more thing to add to the excellent advice on this thread: nobody will mind a bit if you shed a tear or need to take a deep breath during your reading. You will have the most understanding of audiences.

Sympathies to you at this difficult time - I have done this three times in four years (the first two for grandparents, the most recent for a dear friend) and I know how very hard it is.

[RedMystic]

Hi MonicaL

I'm sorry to hear of your recent loss. What a honour to be asked to do a reading at your neighbour's celebration.

I don't know about you, but as I get older, I find that I cry much more easily than I ever did before - even reading this thread did it to me.

I've tried & tried to find a way around it. I agree with a little something in the stomach, an over-the-counter muscle relaxant (or a drink but not both  ), and if you feel the tears start coming, try looking up. It seems to block the tear ducts a wee bit.

I agree with the others though .... it doesn't matter if you shed some tears. Everyone will understand.

Good luck. I'll be thinking of you on Thursday.

[meles]

If all else fails - as it did at a funeral I attended last week - pass the words to the vicar, who will finish it for you.

Knowing that someone else is on hand to do that will probably mean that you will not need them.

meles

[MonicaL]

It is such a hard subject isn't it 

The cat has now gone today. I won't ever have to go back into the house again really and I think that will help.

I know the priest (RC funeral) very well and helped the family connect with him, knowing how much my neighbour liked him. Managed also to get him to see her at the hospice a couple of days before she passed.

Thursday, not long now. Four days....and then I can breath out again!

Monica

[Churchie]

Try not to think of Thursday as something to dread.

I'm sure the family wouldn't mind if you started by saying something special about your friend, or sharing a funny story with them, to make everyone smile and relax, including you.
That helped a lot for me - talking about some of the naughty stories my father told me, which made us all laugh;  it should be a celebration rather than a gloomy day.

Caroline.

[Suzy W]

You are so brave.  I could not get up and say a word at my mother's.  Yet just last weekend I had to stand up and say a speech for my sister's 50th, And thought I would be safe saying a little about our mother, bad move, still had a little tear come to my eyes.
Keep it short and light, best of luck.

Suzy W

[MonicaL]

Thank you both  Caroline, you are of course right when you say a funeral should be a celebration of someone's life. Suzy, good thoughts are always in our head aren't they (I still cry openly if I talk about my father - and he died when I was just a child).

The weather for Thursday is a wonderful balmy mid 20s - a good sign!

Monica

[MonicaL]

A quick note to everyone who helped with their thoughts and advice....

The funeral was this afternoon. A really emotional and eventful funeral (but those are other stories for other times...) but I remembered everyone's advice (yes, I even managed to find some mild valium  ) and I held it together until the last line.

I was positively calm compared to the family members who followed (and felt such a daft one for worrying beforehand as a result, where actually the hard part was for her immediate family).

I feel shattered now but it is done.

Thank you all for your comments, they really helped and didn't make me feel quite so daft for feeling as I did 

Monica

[LoneyBones]

Glad you got through it OK Monica.
I'm sure all who gave you advice will agree that we're all here to help each other in all things, not just Family History.
Leonie.