Author Topic: Secrets and Skeletons  (Read 8544 times)

Offline snowyw

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #9 on: Saturday 19 May 12 23:04 BST (UK) »
It is even worse when you are researching for someone else!
I was researching for a friend who thought her family was squeaky clean!   ;D  Not so - and I had to divulge the truth!! And it wasn't just her grandparents, but great grandparents too!
I'm not young enough to know everything.


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Offline Graham47

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #10 on: Sunday 20 May 12 04:45 BST (UK) »
I'm afraid the responsibility get's to me at times.

For instance, where you know your half siblings have no knowledge of another family, no information or photographs about their father or why he left, or his own family and who they were.

This is not an assumption on my part by the way.

Imagine having to sit not only on information ached for, but the photographs to go with them!

Perhaps ignorance really is bliss eh?
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Streeter's and Kent's of Croydon.
Cavalli's and Cascarini's of Wales and Italy

Offline a chesters

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #11 on: Sunday 20 May 12 04:58 BST (UK) »
On my wifes side, her mother was of the opinion that certain of her ancestors came from the north of England.

When I started doing the research, I found that they were in actual fact a couple of Irish!!!!!! convicts. I have told my wife of course, but have not told my MIL, especially now that she is not really up to understanding the information.

As said earlier, it is a case by case deal. Some you can tell, no trouble, others, no way.

A Chesters

Offline Graham47

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #12 on: Sunday 20 May 12 05:10 BST (UK) »
I had a similar experience.

My old Mum would never talk about her family and always said her own mother was adopted - it's turned out that they were travelling horse dealers, pot makers, and hawkers!

Amazing eh?
Allanby's, Thompson's and Pannett's of Leeds and Tadcaster.
Streeter's and Kent's of Croydon.
Cavalli's and Cascarini's of Wales and Italy


Offline sunflower

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #13 on: Sunday 20 May 12 09:04 BST (UK) »
Try looking at it from the other side.  If you were part of the other family, would you like the answers and see the photo's?  I think with all the TV programmes around at the moment  'You do you think you are' and 'Long Lost Families' people are more prepared. 

I have a half brother who I tried getting in touch with a few years ago.  I just sent a message leaving my phone number and address  if he wanted to get in touch, so I left the decision to him.   He never got back to me, but at least I gave him the choice.

Carol
Derby- Bamford,Slater,Marriott,Lee,Fox,Hopkinson,Hawksley, Furniss, Froggatt, Stodd.
Notts - Breeding, Lacey Marriott ,Kershaw,Chambers,Geeson,Mitchell,Watts,Potts,Slack,Robinson, Cooper
Yorkshire - Potts, Bell, Derbyshire, Kershaw
Worcestershire - Dyson, Summers, Dearn, Jones
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Leicestershire - Stodd, Sarson, Berridge, Watts, Bradshaw.
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Offline kathb

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #14 on: Sunday 20 May 12 11:55 BST (UK) »
Hi, I appreciate your dilemma.  I discovered that my mothers brother was born out of wedlock.  This was never known to my mother or her siblings. I didn't know whether to say anything to the family. He was long dead as was my mother.  On telling my cousin I was researching the family history she immediately asked me if I had found out about Uncle *.  So it can be surprising what the family already know. With all of the information available on the internet, the first family you mention, might also already know about the second family.  It might be worth looking to see if anyone from the first family has posted any information on their family tree on the internet.  This might help your decision in whether to try and contact them or not.
Regards
Kathb
Census information is Crown Copyright from www.nationalarchives.gov.uk
Baker/Cheshire,Crewe/Somerset
Davies/Calvert/Cheshire, Birkenhead/Yorkshire, Bowes
Fitzsimmons/Cheshire, Birkenhead/Lancashire, Liverpool/Ireland
Lewis/Cheshire,Spurstow, Bunbury, Little Budworth, Helsby/Birkenhead
Mackay/Mckay Caithness
Anderson/, Caithness
Dunnet, Caithness
Mowat/ Caithness
Gunn/ Caithness
Smith/Caithness, Dunnet, Thurso, Castletown
Rosie/Caithness, Thurso
Sadlier Forster/Liverpool/Ireland, Cork

Offline Davsuro

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #15 on: Thursday 31 May 12 13:06 BST (UK) »
My Grandmother was widowed at 24 and her four children were brought up by members of both families. She went on to have several other children and not marry the father, although the children took his sir name. The first four children were not aware who was their real mother. Now the offspring of the children are doing research and are wanting information.
The man my Grandmother had several children with, also fathered a few more in the same area! He was caught out when he ended up in hospital, and the families both turned up.
I had just moved from East Anglia and received a request for information re Grandfather. It turned out my Grandfathers other family had relatives in East Anglia, and we lived in the same town. We also had a lot more in common, alas we never met.
My father was furious about all the information discovered and it turned out his siblings were aware of all the other families but dad refused to accept any of it. His sister was more forthcoming but it has caused a big rift in the Family.
I decided to leave my research until a much later date when it can not upset anyone. As has been stated the records are out there, unfortunately the information required from family members may not be.

Offline bramhallbill

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #16 on: Thursday 31 May 12 14:06 BST (UK) »
Researching later after relatives have died leaves you with a lot less info........
Oh why did I bother v If only....
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Offline eadaoin

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Re: Secrets and Skeletons
« Reply #17 on: Thursday 31 May 12 14:26 BST (UK) »
I'd research as much as early as possible - no need to pass stuff on until later!

eadaoin
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