To Jan's daughter......
Please remember that funerals give us the chance not only to mourn someone's passing, but to also to celebrate their lives. It will be a time of mixed emotions for you, so please don't think you're being disrespectful if you find yourself laughing or joking - it's how she would want you to be. I lost my mum 16 years ago, and the last couple of weeks of her life were similar to your mother's, and when I think of her now, I think of her in happier and healthier times.
I never had the privilege of meeting your mum, but when she found out about my illness only a matter of months ago, she sent me lots of private messages of encouragement, intermingled with jokes (and even a recipe for chicken soup, to keep my strength up !). I knew she wasn't in the best of health, but she used to shrug that off, and only wanted to concentrate on me. Jan was a caring and generous lady.
I won't be able to attend Jan's funeral because of my bad health, but I will be thinking of you all on the 16th.
Love to all your family, from Nick.
