Hi mckha489,
I don’t like your tone in your message. Unless you have any substance to comments you should not make them.
Although the family had been split up after the death of their parents they always “kept in touch”. In fact we are still “in touch” a couple of generations later.
Arthur has always been spoken about. He was my grandfather’s twin brother.
The fact that my mother was mentioned in a Will is neither here nor there.
Yes there are family secrets in many families but Arthur was not a secret.
SNG
I think you may have over reacted a tad SNG.
While your ancestor may not have been a secret, in my experience from being one of the descendants of families with 9 & 10 children, it is a fact that different members of the famiilies and their descendants may have different views/ideas/concepts, from being told different things over the years. Or they may interpreted them differently.
In my family younger children such as my parents both were, and my cousins from their older siblings, have slightly different 'stories' or family lore. Nothing to get upset about, certainly not a put up or shut up situation.
Wills provide a great source of information and even being mentioned in a will often indicates a family closeness or expectation. I know there was great indignation in my family, to this day, that wealthy London-based Great grandparents did not make provision for the widow of the son who emigrated to NZ and who had 9 children at his sudden death with 4 being under 10 years.
'The fact that my mother was mentioned in a Will is neither here nor there'. This is very much part of the history as it was very easy NOT to leave $$$$ in a will and very expensive to challenge it.
Part of why we belong to Rootschat, and one of the most valuable I have found, is that others can look for, find and analyse info and have a different slant on things from us. Is it only by being queried on stuff that may have been part of family lore that advances can be made. I hasten to add that I don't discount family lore at all as it has been my experience that it usually contains a kernel of truth.
We often forget that the Victorian era ushered in a hush-hush world of societal propriety. I'll not forget my mild shock to read on an early 1800s Presbyterian Irish ancestor's baptism that the vicar had written 'This child is a bastard' And so he was. I know I could have got all prickly about it but life is too short and these finds do help to show that our ancestors were people.
So please don't get angry with people who may upset or challenge what you may have believed. Only by reflecting on what they are saying can we move on to possibly open the door that may have been hinted at.
