Don't people realise how much it hurts

[Sloe Gin]

The reason I regret not starting it earlier is not for what they could have told me, because that wouldn't have been very much.  But to share with them what I have found out.   My poor mum would have been a bit in denial about some of it at first, but would have put her own spin on it and would have become thoroughly caught up in the sagas.  She would have loved to have known that her GG grandparents were in the Workhouse ...... as Master and Matron!  Her brother would have loved everything, warts and all and they would have had some marvellous squabbles about it.  Such a shame that my cousins aren't v interested ("it's just a list of names and dates") 

As Rishile mentioned "the feeling that you are ‘getting to know’ your ancestors" and in our case, because they didn't take any early interest I have left them far behind in this respect, and it must be a rather forbidding wall of names now.  But that's not my fault as I tried my best to share from the start.

I have no complaints on my father's side as there are lots more living rellies, most of whom find it all as fascinating as I do.

[Rishile]

I wish I had started earlier so I could ask my parents questions and also share the stories.

My mother knew a few details which I am sure she mentioned but I never listened at that stage.  Now those details would fill in a few gaps along the line. 

My father rarely spoke about his family unless questioned - and I never questioned.  My father would have loved to have known that his family had moved around the country so much - he never travelled very far because my mother hated travelling.

I'm sure we all have regrets.  It's never too early to start but it can be a bit late if you're not careful.

Rishile

[Sloe Gin]

My poor mum would have been a bit in denial about some of it at first, but would have put her own spin on it

Sometimes I can almost hear her

"It can't have been our (insert name).  It must have been another (insert name)"

"Well, I expect he was going to pay the man"

"They can't just have been tinkers, I expect they were real Romanies.  They had their own royal families, you know"

[flipflops]

Rishile mentioned the feeling that you are ‘getting to know’ your ancestors,

I felt it just yesterday on coming across a report on britishnewspaperarchive.co.uk on the inquest on my 3xgt grandfather. Age  79, he'd been to the pub to hear the newspapers being read, came home and sat in his chair to relay the news to his son and daughter, fell back in his chair and died.  It didn't sound too bad a way to go...

[Sloe Gin]

All very well saying I wished I'd started earlier .... but I still wouldn't have found a quarter of what I know now.  There's so much easily available now that wasn't then, and more all the time.  No - what I really mean is that it's sad that they aren't with us now.


Moderator Comment: A comment removed; language unnecessarily harsh.

[coombs]

Heavens forbid any of you find a connection to a murderer like I did the other day.

Well you're not the only one....

I am a distant cousin to the Kray Twins. One of their 3xgreat grans was the sister of my 5xgreat grandfather.

I dont mind people copying info in my tree on Ancestry as I want to share the information. But when I find new info on another ancestry tree I like to check for myself as many ancestry trees are false. And I have found they seem to have a lot of my ancestors down as doing a lot of Atlantic hopping and being born in namesake places in America to their real England birthplaces such as 3xgreat grampy born in Soho, New Jersey, USA. I need passenger lists now urgently.   It was Soho, London. These mistakes are due to the drop down menus which can be very annoying.

And I am not sure if everyone in Ancestry trees actually existed. Such as someone who had 3 siblings born in a parish yet I have found no record of them.

[Guy Etchells]

It makes no difference when one starts, there will still be earlier generations one would liked to have talked to.
I wish I could have talked to my Great-grand parents but they died before I was born.
Cheers
Guy

[Sloe Gin]

Moderator Comment: A comment removed; language unnecessarily harsh.

This comment  gives a very misleading impression of what I wrote.  I refute the suggestion that I used "harsh language".

[Nick29]

I so wish I had started it a few years earlier when our parents were alive.

I DID

I started asking as a child (not that there's much chance of me having written it down) but might have remembered a thing or two. All I got were the standard put downs  Mum DID once say 'I could tell you a thing or two about THEM if I wanted to' but seemingly she never wanted to because she never did, even when I was  a mother myself

The problem is that genealogists really only get to see the 'official' paperwork - we often have to read between the lines to get a glimpse of the history that maybe they wouldn't want us to know