Where have you met newly found relations?

[Winterbloom21]

That's great, Jollery.     It's nice to hear positive stories like these.  They help to balance out the ones where we find people, often after a long hard search, and we (virtually) bounce towards them, bursting with enthusiasm to talk about the family but find that they're just not interested.       

I'd give anything to be able to talk to one newly found relation who is elderly and must be full of information about a long lost section of my family, but she doesn't want to.   And I find it so hard to understand, because there is nothing scandalous or awkward about our link, just two marriages, the second after being widowed.       I know this happens to other people, too.     I feel so sad and disappointed.      Maybe it is the very closeness of the relationship that has somehow frightened her - a relationship that she knew nothing about.    I don't know.     The only thing to do is to appreciate the other people we find, and the friendships we make with them.

[jollery]

Hello Winterbloom,    that is very sad for you, I was wondering if you could go about it through a third party that might be able to talk to her about it, or even a friend of hers that could ask a few questions.  Sometimes you have to be a bit devious.    In  my case, I wasnt even looking for anyone at the time.   I thought I had got as far as I wanted after doing it for seven years, but after meeting this cousin it has renewed my interest, and only yesterday I found another 3rd cousin through replying to a post on this site, so don't give up.

[Winterbloom21]

Thanks Jollery.    I won't give up completely, no.     I do have third party contact with her but I've been told that she won't even discuss it with her, and she wouldn't want to upset her by mentioning it again.    But you never know, do you?      Maybe she just needs a little bit more time.     It's only three months since she discovered that she once had an older brother and sister (now dead) that she never knew existed so it must have been quite a shock.     I can only hope that she has a rethink before it really is too late and in the meantime will keep in light touch with the third party and hope for the best.  S