uncle married niece

[JMStrachan]

Sorry you're upset about it. But at least yours did get married. Mine didn't - I have an ancestor who got his niece pregnant while she was working as his housekeeper after the death of his wife, and her child was illegitimate. Both went on to marry someone else.

No reason to feel ashamed, though. We are not responsible for what our ancestors did, which is just as well.

[Finley 1]

I am so sorry that this has upset you.

What we have to realise, when researching 'our family' is that times were so very very different.
And we should not judge them by today's standards.

Incest is a dreadful thing, and I know it still happens today.
Please be grateful that he hadnt committed murder.
Understand that there is no way (without the time machine) that you can find out the full story.  And it has many many lines of reasoning.  He could have (in his own way) been saving her from a worse situation.  As I say doubtful  you will ever find out.

He is part of your 'family'  and therefore part of your history would change if this hadnt have happened.

I had similar occurances, that would not be accepted today.  Which took a while to come to terms with.

Maybe if you try and find a little more - maybe it will help - maybe it will not???

Just put his file on oneside for a while, and follow someone else.  We have to accept that they all fought hard to survive in a very very different world to ours.  Some make us so proud and some make us want to hide our heads.   

Take care,

xin

[quest40]

Hi, first of all, like everyone else, I'm sorry your discovery has upset you.
My own discovery of this sort of relationship was an even closer one - between siblings.  The family story is that the brother had been abroad, came home to be met by his parents and much younger sister, didn't realise she was his sister and fell in love.  She seems to have felt the same, and they emigrated to Canada.
I have some doubts about the story, which is probably why I don't feel upset about it.  Their mother went out to Canada too (aged 68 - brave woman!) and lived with them there.  A census has her as mother of them both, which is why I am slightly doubtful, I would have thought they might have said they were husband and wife?  But who knows what is true?  It might all be perfectly innocent and ordinary!
Ann

[Cell]

Feeling a bit upset actually as I discovered that my great grandfather married his niece. The discovery was the result of this thread:
http://www.rootschat.com/forum/index.php?topic=555265.new;topicseen#new

I spent a lot of time (and money) on my tree and feel now my excitement has waned due to this discovery. I feel so ashamed to show anyone my tree now. As odd as it sounds, I would rather my great grandfather had been a murderer or somthing. Being in an incestious relationship is harder to deal with.

Any thoughts or similar experiences?

Hi,
playing devil's advocate but I really  don't understand if you feel "so ashamed to show anyone my tree now "  why on earth you've done the complete opposite and brought  attention to it. 

"I spent a lot of time (and money) on my tree and feel now my excitement has waned due to this discovery"  I don't understand this either. Time and money? What has your  waning of  excitement got to do with time and Money

"I would rather my great grandfather had been a murderer or something" - taking a life ?
My thoughts
Kind Regards

[Shirleyjjj]

Hi your not alone - I found out something on my tree that really upset me - it was all hidden until i dug it up - I also contrubuted to making it public as I found a misssplet on the census and then I realised it was them - its now been corrected -
Although your situation is a bit different I wanted answers which i couldnt find - they had hidden everything - im my situation it was a couple who coulndt get married because of something else but completley different and a law that no longer stands these days.

I have found , however that some marriages between first cousins . I have found they  did that to keep the land in the family - they would obviously have a good reason to do what they had to.

[g eli]

I guess that since I knew from a fairly early age about men marrying their sisters in law and vice versa and 1st cousins marrying, I just accepted it, my grandmother would talk about her relatives and I absorbed it.
These forums have made me think about it a little more. If you read the consanguinity laws you can find out who cannot marry and since we know more about genetics we are a little more careful about marrying close relatives, but I would think when banns were read the just cause was probably one of the parties was already married or was under age. How many people would be knowledgeable enough to object and would they.
Marriage gave the impression of respectability, our ancestors married bigamously, or lived together as a married couple (without the benefit of clergy) and lied about it, and sometimes there seems to be no reason why they didn't marry. Today living together without marriage is accepted and no one except maybe relatives says anything.
Liz