Thanks for the links and info - I'll give it a whirl
I might just go down and have a wander round - I'm a great believer in fate, and if I'm meant to find their grave, then I will.
I visted a small village in Derbyshire called Brassington once - where the John Spencer in this thread came from - and I wanted to find a gravestone in the local churchyard. There were hundreds, but I parked my car, looked over the wall and at that very spot, there was the gravestone. I was meant to find it.
Dave