A bit shocked, Confused...and a bit hurt

[Charlesworth]

he was already married and divorced wife no.1....

That's terribly sad, Rachey. Did he actually divorce wife no.1?  It was pretty had to get a divorce back then unless you had money..  my ancestors just left their wives and ran off with someone else!

[Hanford]

They did indeed, infact she divorced him ( Good on her! )
All in all I think it cost him £12,000 plus more because he wouldn't pay anything towards his first family 
"my ancestors just left their wives and ran off with someone else" 

[Charlesworth]

Thinking about it, I had a great-gran who ran off as well! Seems to me they were all at it! (At least they were in my family!) 

[Trees]

Both my grandfathers who I knew have made me sad for different reasons but happenings i have uncovered over a hundred years back cease to shock or sadden even though some of them are equally emotive. It is hard to forgive a man who fathered 15 children with one wife and a further 7 by a second wife  2 before wife ne died(no divorce) and more shocking to find wife 2 was born after he had already had 10 children! the second one is sad because he was the lodger's son great gran had a young family when she was widowed took in a widower with young children  in the hope that together they could make a happy family to bring both lots of children up but no ring was exchanged gt gran had a second child by him and fell ill he scarpered with his first children left gt Gran to die in the workhouse infirmary and their little children to be taken into care.
Now those stories make me sad but I am so proud of my gram for the dignified way she dealt with here wayward husband and so proud of my grandfather who forged a lovely life from his poor beginnings
Hold your head high and think of the legacy the ancestors have left
Trees

[Billycat]

This makes me think about a shipping list a member sent me a few days ago in 1890 with a list of passengers.
Under one lady it lists a person as Mrs  so and so and then "and her native servant".

At least we get to know something most of the time. This poor guys descendents will never know anything good or bad, not even an ititial or sex.

[Just Kia]

Unles of course s/he is with the family on a census return or even if the passenger list at the other end lists his/her name - remember there are outgoing passenger lists and incoming passenger lists.

[dobfarm]

I was doing my motherside and found her dads mothers father was a murderer in incidence with a gang of poachers with his brother, being my gt.x 3 granddad played a lesser part his conviction was reduced to two's years from the plea of guilty of murder. We found he was having an affair with another woman! who he beat up, killed and some how the jury found him not guilty of murder. A few years later he had another affair, did the same thing and beat her to death in a horrible way then topped himself. My  Gt grandmother. (His daughter was buried in another parish by my Gt  granddad because of the stigma.)
Best bit was he even ratted on his brother in the poaching murder hence his lesser sentence.

Years before he was a gamekeeper! caught a poacher informed the police then nicked the rabbits himself! he got six month for that!

Never rains but pours

Bit of scandal makes a boring tree have a bit of interest! Do I feel hurt ? Never!! It wasn't me. 


More present day! I know of a young lady who's mother is in the nick for fraud! for quite a few years, after her mothers conviction! the lady joined the police force, still works for them and is doing well!

So why feel hurt by history!  Good or bad.

[MurphysLaw]

So why feel hurt by history!  Good or bad.

Im not hurt by the history- perhaps hurt was the wrong word to use, but it was such an over whelming feeling that its all i could describe it as at the time....

Its a feeling that others have said they have experienced and when delaing with family who we are learning about everyday I suppose these feelings come thick and fast if you have a story such as mine... i am feeling better now though and I have understood more about the feeling thanks to replies from those who have responded 

Looking forward to the next part - I know now that I will probably harden more to my discoveries as I become more advanced.
However its still pretty odd to know that such things go on in a family...they get you when you least expect it!! 

I know that the research i have collected is probably as much as I will ever get- I dont think there is anyway of telling if a baby was premature or not...  it just says on birth cert the DOB and usual bits - not 'date expected'....even so the birth cert does say that this baby has a different father to the others and the kid before that so I am more swayed to say that he wasnt prem....

[MurphysLaw]

So why feel hurt by history!  Good or bad.

Im not hurt by the history- perhaps hurt was the wrong word to use, but it was such an over whelming feeling that its all i could describe it as at the time....

Its a feeling that others have said they have experienced and when delaing with family who we are learning about everyday I suppose these feelings come thick and fast if you have a story such as mine... i am feeling better now though and I have understood more about the feeling thanks to replies from those who have responded  

Looking forward to the next part - I know now that I will probably harden more to my discoveries as I become more advanced.
However its still pretty odd to know that such things go on in a family...they get you when you least expect it!!  

I know that the research i have collected is probably as much as I will ever get- I dont think there is anyway of telling if a baby was premature or not...  it just says on birth cert the DOB and usual bits - not 'date expected'....even so the birth cert does say that this baby has a different father to the others and the kid before that so I am more swayed to say that he wasnt prem....