Unhelpful Family members

[Bozzer]

Thanks for the marriage tip as well. I've already tracked down the reference and as the two possible grooms names mean nothing to me, I've ordered a certificate to see what happens.

Thanks for your help everyone - a very productive 1st days membership.

[MacBraveheart]

WOW  I'm  glad  to  know  I'm  not  alone  having  trouble  even  talking  about  family names  with  older  family  members  they  think  the  dead   should  be  left  dead.  Reading  these  posts  make  me  feel  not  so  alone.

You will find that this trait of "we don't really want to know about our family skeletons" is quite common.

What is equally common is that once YOU do all the hard graft and discover these amazing links and wonderful bits of history they usually change their tune.  Even if there are some unpleasant reminders of their predecessors' indiscretions...

LOL!

I complained of the same problem with my father-in-law who thought that there was no way that his family (miners all) would have had a family crest for me to twin with my own.  Turns out that ALL families have a claim to a crest through association and so there are several for his family!  Just a case of tracing his family back far enough to know which one!  And that is not easy if he doesn't even know when his GRANDPARENTS where born. 

Now take me- I can recite my family back to 1750s due to being German.  In Germany my grandmothers needed to prove their "lineage" before they could even get married!

So good on you to persevere!  May you find all the skeletons and may they be little ones!

[Bozzer]

Message to Helen (hlbradd),

Thanks agin for the marriage tip (your post of 14th April re Annie Terry)

Alas, another dead end. I risked £7 on a marriage certificate which came this morning and the Annie Terry in question was 9 years too young and had the wrong father.

Any ideas?
Thanks again.

[1000xlch]

Hi Tarnee

Re your John and Lillian marriage.  You might want to try a little bit earlier say 1901 as you could marry when you were a lot younger (say about 14 or 15) up until I think the 1920's,.  They could have married later.  Re the death certs, it should state who the informant was and where living at the time.
Hope this helps a little bit.

[1000xlch]

Hi Carolwalden

RE Charles Walden.  You say he was a baker, it may help if you look up in the trade directories as he may well be listed and have a private address.  You can search online at http://www.historicaldirectories.org/  He may be in Aston in 1871 census, try it online via google or freecen.  Hope this helps a little 

[Flynn]

I would like to wish everyone who posted or read any of this GOOD LUCK! My close family are the types who are just don't want to know.  They are all afraid of what I might dig up and that our more distant relations will be problematic people. For a while I kept to myself just in case my family were right. However, when my paternal grandmother died and my uncle denied any knowledge of her photo albums, I was like a dog with a bone. I had spent many an hour with my grandmother looking through her albums when she was alive and she had been kind enough to part with some photos so that I might have something to know my ancestors by.  When I had a chance, I got my father to go through my grandmother's things that were left to gather dust and disintegrate in damp plastic bags.  I found some fascinating papers (especially my grandmother's uncle's last will and testiment).  It was through this will that I was able to find out more about my paternal grandmother's mother's family. Since then I have been able to make contact with a third cousin once removed that neither I nor my father knew about. It is so gratifying because it turns out that it was my family who were the weird ones all along! One lesson I've learned from this experience is don't be shy. Sharing information and going out on that limb to make contact with people you don't know (yet) can end up being very rewarding.  HAPPY ANCESTOR (AND FAMILY) HUNTING TO YOU ALL!!!!

Cynthia

[carolwalden]

1000xlch , thanks for that will give it look over.

There seems to be a trend for wanting to keep the so called skeletons deep in the closet, but its amazing how few there are lol
So far all i have discovered is a few cousins marrying and the odd pauper.
The Waldens are still a mystery and my Scottish ancestors were over in Ireland somewhere yet to be discovered.

But i have made great progress with my Poskitt family and i still cant believe how many there are 

To anyone stuck in a rut, try all lines of enquiry.When you hit a dead end with one family try the next you never know what progress you make.

Have a good Christmas and all the best for the New Year.

Carol

[1000xlch]

Hi Carol

Just noticed you have cox in Middlesborough.  The IGI is complete for Yorkshire which of course includes Middlesborough back then.  Also ordering certs online is easier as the registrar offices for Durham and Cleveland (which includes Middlesborough) have their indexes on line for free.  I have used them a few times.

John Rowley

[carolwalden]

Hi John, the Tees Valley Index is a great resource, i found Charles Poskitt`s wife using it.
I however am not sure about my Cox family as the only information i have is my grandmothers father was Thomas Cox born about 1890 Middlesbrough.
Its a shame the family didnt keep closer contacts or i wouldnt be stuck.
Am going to order Thomas and Violets marriage certificate to try and get a little further back.

Thanks
Carol