Hi Noandra
You're welcome - has been very interesting one to follow. Thanks Lucy for the kind comment

I wonder where on earth TE & Emily each were in 1881 - they married in the December that year. I've searched high & low to no avail.
I also can't get a handle on Emily in any Census pre 1881. If AE was born abt 1876 he should be there somewhere too, but no joy. If he was really born abt 1876 it makes Emily very young when she had him, if indeed she was his mother. Perhaps TE & Emily were living together in 1881 but not yet married (maybe due to her age) and perhaps they dodged the Census man! It may be that NZ death records will help......
If you can find out the name of the funeral director who handled Emily's funeral (from a Newspaper notice perhaps) or from the Sexton's book at the Cemetery - then a call to the Funeral Director (if they are still in business, and most of them are) to ask what information they hold for her, may prove helpful. They often have a record of the names of the deceaseds parents, children etc - and it's free. I've done this many times in NZ, and have never been turned down.
You could do the same for your Albert Edward too, as that may help cement for you that he was indeed the one Trooper and the Lt Col. and was the son of TE and Emily, brother of George, Horace etc. It may also indicate if he really was born abt 1876 or if he was fibbing when he joined up for the South African wars. Perhaps investing in the 1876 Birth Certificate for Albert Edward LOACH in Birmingham may be a good thing too - on the off chance Emily wasn't his mother, but rather the product of a prior marriage of Thomas (even though he is stated as a bachelor on his 1881 marriage to Emily.
Cheers
AMBLY