Liverpudlian nonsense prose

[garstonite]

if it takes a week to walk a fortnight how long does it take for a long legged spider in hobnailed boots and spats on to push a barrow load of darkness up a light passage

Ah now...in Garston it was
If it takes a man a week to walk a fortnight in with his stocking shoes on , How many apples in a bunch of grapes ?

How much oil could a gumboil boil if a gumboil could boil oil ?   (said very very fast)

the girls used to skip to
Tinker Tailor Soldier Sailor Rich man Poor man Beggarman Thief ....thief thief stole a leg of beef

Queenieye Queenieye who`s got the ball
I haven`t got it ,it isn`t in my pocket
Queenieye Queenieye who`s got the ball ?
and one I can`t quite remember  1 2 3 Alera I saw sister Sarah ??
allan

[Gillg]

1 2 3 alera
I saw sister Sarah
sitting on her bumbelera
eating chocolate biscuits

[Viktoria]

As a little kid I used to think there were three people-Maisie Doates, Dosey Doates and Lamsy Tivey.
Tiddley ivey too ,wouldn`t you?.

It was years later that I realised the words were -- Mares eat oats and Does eat oats but little lambs eat ivy, a kid will eat ivy too, wouldn`t you? 
Mind you I thought there was a place called "Plicity" where all the mice had something wrong with them because every night I had to say my prayers and say " Pity mice in Plicity" again years later I realised it should have been " pity my simplicity".
                                                                        Viktoria.

[garstonite]

My grandad used to say to us if we had a little accident..`In goes your eye out`...what was that supposed to mean ?...lol....allan

[Ringoroses]

and one I can`t quite remember  1 2 3 Alera I saw sister Sarah ??

We sang that playing 'two balls' - throwing two balls against a wall and catching them.

1,2,3 Alera (although I'm sure some sang O'leary!)
4,5,6 Alera
7,8,9 Alera
10, 11, bounce the ball. (whilst bouncing the ball against the wall and catching it)

It went on (and on and on  ) with the end action/lyric chanching to drop the ball, throw the ball, under right leg the ball, under left leg the ball, behind the back the ball....etc....

Oh they were simple times, kept us amused for hours that one 

[garstonite]

With your dress tucked in your knickers Ann....I remember that...about 6 girls in a line , ball under the leg against the wall and the next girl carried on ...allan

[Ringoroses]

Yep 

[heywood]

With your dress tucked in your knickers Ann....I remember that...about 6 girls in a line , ball under the leg against the wall and the next girl carried on ...allan

and our skirts tucked in our knickers to do handstands against the wall... did we wear very big knickers? 

[Gillg]

I'm afraid we did, Heywood - navy blue ones for school with elastic that was always breaking with sometimes disastrous results!