Ok. I agree it is complicated. Having not one but two grandsons with a Stevens father who are not related - family relationships are tricky. What annoys me is family loyalty even when someone has behaved very badly. Just because the person is your relation doesn't mean that their behaviour can be considered exemplary! If it is wrong it is wrong. I've taken this stance with both Stevens families and they now realise that if they want to have contact with the boys they have to be nice. Some people have come round to my way of thinking, some have not. Alex is an emotional mess at the moment so we are giving her lots of support both emotional and financial. She's very lonely but her school friends are being great to her. They are all turning 30 this year and they've all invited Alex and Brendan to their birthday parties so she hasn't been left out unlike the family have done. I've been baby sitting so they've been able to go. It makes up for not having been able to make friends with Brendan's family other than his Dad who is marevelous. He even apologised on behalf of the Stevens family for Andrew's conduct and went to see his parents to try to sort it out. Such a star and Alex is very fond of him. I've got a tea towel which says Friends are the Family you choose which says it all!!!
Anyway I'll have a look at my records and see if I have any extra information. Cynthia, Andrew's mother has Greendslades in her family tree on her mother's side. Her mother was born Doreen Florence Tarr and her mother was Ellen Greenslade. There are quite a few Greenslades though.
James Stevens, Brendan's ancestor, came from Brompton Regis where he lived at Lyncombe Farm. The Buckingham's live there now but they are related since the farm passed to a son in law I think.
The reason we are researching the family tree is because my daughter has a rare kidney disease, FJHN, which is made much worse if there is any consanguinity anywhere. My husband's parents were related so this means that Alex is much more affected by the gene fault than I am. So we need to know who the boys are related to so that they don't have children with them. Apparently sixth cousins is considered all right so one has to go back a long way.
Plus we've had DNA tests to prove paternity so that in 30 years when people look at photos and the grandparents don't look all that much like their grandchildren we've got documents to prove they were the real grandparents. I'll either be dead or extremely old and I don't want the boys to have trouble. Colin was fine about it. He said that he's 68 now and is bound to be dead by then! Yes well that's life. He did the swabs with a grin. He's so much fun. Much easier than a blood test but I'm sure that he would have done that too.
Do you have children? When I had my first baby I realised why my parents did so much for me. They loved us unconditionally. I wasn't a difficult child, apparently I was very good (yuk) but it was wonderful to be loved so much.
Imagine having 8 children! 4 was enough for me.
Regards,
Annis.
