Hiya,
I have found a Joseph Stoker in the 1891 census, which could be him with a new wife. do you think this could be a possiblity? That he ran off? Maybe that is why his son disowned him and said he was dead? A lot of the information matches as well. Because his profession in an earlier census was a coach maker.
Have a look and let me know what you think:
2, Pool Street, Wolverhampton, Staffordshire
STOKER, Joseph Head Married M 69 1822 Coach Body Maker, Bilston, Staffordshire
STOKER, Caroline Wife Married F 55 1836 Dressmaker
Kidderminster, Worcestershire
STOKER, Eliza J Niece Single F 41 1850 Laundress
Standford, Staffordshire