Tracing living relatives - discussion thread

[Redroger]

Why not try testing the water with some adverts in the local papers of the areas where she says the men live? Something on the lines of "Did you know XXX in the 19XXs" etc. May bring a result that you could progress further. Personally if I did this I would use a box number for replies.

[Khaines62]

I'm definitely thinking about doing something like that and see what happens!!!!   I'm keeping it a secret from Mum though - if I do find anything I don't want any of her spanners in the works, lol!!

[Redroger]

Good luck, keep us posted either on the thread or by pm. Still looking for my cousin.

[Khaines62]

I ended up speaking to Mum again about it, despite what I put above, I have had a couple of nights lying awake and it was doing my head in, so I rang up this afternoon.  My problem is that I don't believe that the names she has given me are actual people, they are made up names.   One candidate is from Limerick, or so Mum, says but there are no families of that surname in Limerick!  Maybe just not looked hard enough - but it seems suss.   Because it has been stressing me out, I rang her - she was a lot better than I thought, but still don't 100% believe her.

Jimmy didn't turn up this morning for me to get more info out of, which is a pity as I went down all bright eyed and bushy tailed armed with a notepad!!!!  Goodness knows where he went...

[Redroger]

Might be worthwhile trying Limerick voters lists, telephone directories and guides etc. for the appropriate time to see whether there was anyone of the name in the area at that time.  If you draw a total blank then it is likely she was spinning you a yarn, but if you wish you could then approach her with that news and see her reaction.

[Khaines62]

I managed last night to track down names of that family in Limerick - am considering applying for records, although the service costs!!!   I'm going to try and access directories too.  Like i said, contact isn't really important, it is closure.  I'm debating the DNA issue!!!

[Redroger]

Some progress at last. Perhpas a Rootschatter in the area could help you by personal message to preserve confidentiality?

[greenpaula]

Hi Khaines,
Is there a family member you are very close to who you can speak to in confidence and who may know the identity of your father?
That worked for a friend of mine in a very similar situation.

[Khaines62]

I have been down that route - most of my relatives I am estranged from anyway, as I have never got on with them, and the one aunt who I consider closest has said she doesn't know much about it, and from past issues regarding my mother, she doesn't want to get involved and possibly cause friction with her sister.
 
If she does know, she ain't telling in case it causes trouble with Mum.

I am autistic, and my problems connected with it have caused friction between myself and my relatives all my life, and although they say they want to help, when it comes down to it - nothing!!

Long used to it!!!