Tracing living relatives - discussion thread

[Entmoot3000]

My sister and I were separated as Children.  She found me over 30 years ago but then I lost track again.  Our link, relatives in Canada, have certainly died.  She no longer lives at the last address.  I have tried googling possible names.  She could use any of four known surnames and may have remarried.  I have googled known names and end up in other centuries.  Of the advice you have given, what would be the best way to proceed?

[Redroger]

Personally I would try first name and last known address. There may be better ideas forthcoming.

[Entmoot3000]

And at what sites would you go and do this?  Letters to that address have long been returned.   

[Redroger]

Another possibility which has worked for me in the UK. Find the name of the local newspaper covering the area where they lived. Letter to the editor telling him of your search and asking his help. If they are like newspapers in the UK will be very pleased to help.

[Khaines62]

I **THINK*** I have an Irish father, although this depends wholly on how much truth is in what my mother told me.  I am in my late forties and only found out at 34 that this Irish person may not be the only man that could possibly be my father as my mother named a man in a nearby village as a possible candidate.  Basically this was back in the sixties so both me could be still living.  My mother only volunteered this info when a woman traced us who is my sister and I had always been told I was an only child.  I would have absolutely no idea of what is truth or fiction coming out of Mum's mouth!!  So really, tracing any relatives of mine from my paternal side, living or deceased would be an absolute minefield!!!!  The Irish one My mother - has said - is deceased from what she has heard.

I am interested in helping a friend trace his roots, this is why I joined, and although my first post fell somewhat foul of the rules on living people, I think that with a bit of luck I may have some success!!

I think some of those links will come in handy!

[Redroger]

Delicate issue. Perhaps one or both of the putative fathers would be willing to give a DNA sample which unless they happen to be identical twins (extremely unlikely) would resolve the issue. Personally I would take advice about your situation from someone qualified to help. But who? Perhaps another Rootschatter can help you?

[Khaines62]

Thanks Roger - sorry don't know if you are referring to my post!  The only problem there is that both names she gave me may well not exist, for example when I was younger she said my fathers name was Joe Bloggs - (to avoid naming people) and after this woman got in contact she came out with, say Jerry Bloggs for this Irish chap, and when I said that she had told me his name was Joe, she went into a flap saying sehe is too old and her brain cannot work back that far!!!  The second man she has given two names for too....  I would definitely remember no matter how old I am, any man who made me pregnant, or if two possibilites, both their names, it isn't something a woman would easily forget.  I do think she knows, and I may find out on her death - maybe she has instructed a family member to tell me then!!!  Until then I will just get names....

Oh well - if I can help Jimmy trace his relatives, it doesn't matter about mine, Mum can stew!!!

Funny enough - one of her hobbies is tracing her family history.........

[Redroger]

Khaines, I was referring to your post. If she will give you the name might be worthwhile trying to contact them and ask if they are willing to provide a sample. Stress  that it is only for family history purposes as some people can get very sensitive when people contact them saying they are relatives, think their money is at risk etc.

[Khaines62]

Hi Roger.

I did try and find trace men by the names she gave me but drew blanks - this is the problem,  I have no way of contacting them because I cannot find anyone by the names she has given, I have tried.  Several times, the Irish chap came from Limerick but cannot find anyone of the name she gave there, or the bloke from the village!!   I have written letters stating about DNA to various people but drawn blanks at every turn - which makes me wonder what truth is in the names she has given. 

Very tricky situation, and very frustrating.  I have no addresses or contact names to write to, same as my friend I am trying to help. 

Thanks again for your advice, I amy well try and delve again!!!