Ancestry

[bikermickau]

As for the actual subject of this thread - it doesn't pay to generalise.  My cousin very recently lost her father and her step-mother in the space of two weeks, and on both occasions she immediately emailed me to ask me to change my family tree to show her relative's deaths.  It affects different people in different ways.

Just to add to that, when my brother died I mainly lost interest in Family History.

When my dad died I realised, after reading a 10 page or so essay he wrote for us to find after his death, how much information he had that hadn't been recorded and I started being active in Family History again.

Mick

[Nick29]

I can understand that, Mick.  My parents died a long time ago, but I still miss them terribly.  I look upon their entries in my family tree as an homage to them (maybe that word is too strong, because I'm not obsessive about it).  The wake after a funeral is as much about celebrating someone's life as it is in expressing grief, and I'd like to think that my family tree is a celebration of the lives of all my ancestors.

[kerryb]

Hi Nick

I like your last phrase there '...and I'd like to think that my family tree is a celebration of the lives of all my ancestors....'

I totally agree with that, it certainly has become a celebration for me, of many people that I would otherwise have never known existed.

And that is why I get a bit miffed when I see these people misrepresented in other people's trees, whether it is incorrect death dates or whatever.  I know I don't own these people, they are not exclusively my ancestors and I know about all the other arguments put forth in these sort of threads, but it just makes me a little sad that these people can't be bothered to do as much research into their lives as I have bothered to do and to get it right!

I don't lose sleep over it or anything else, I just feel a bit miffed and I know I am not alone.  I also know from the many threads that many rootschatters don't get this feeling but I have it, and it is a valid feeling!

Kerry

[MarieC]

Agree completely, Kerry and Nick! 

I see my family tree as a celebration of the lives of my ancestors, including those I have rescued from obscurity.  I've published a book about my father's life for family members, as a homage to him, and hope to put together one about my mum (it will be shorter, as I don't have so much information).  When I finally get round to writing about the whole family, that will be a major celebration, no matter what they have done in their lives, good and bad, it doesn't matter.

I totally agree with you, Kerry, about our feelings.  I feel as you do, and I agree that our feelings are quite valid because they are OUR feelings! 

I don't have a tree on the Net for this reason.  But I do have text about my ancestors - this has led to a number of useful contacts from distant rellies, but it would be much harder for name gatherers to appropriate it.

MarieC

[PK2]

Nick29
I do not think that I should even attempt to reply to any more of your pointless barbs. You chose to broker this, not I, and I think you demesne the original thread that was intended to be sympathetic Everyone here that uses this forum has a right to express a personal observation and mine simply was about the Ancestry trees and the inaccuracies that are inflected on ones ancestors; not Ancestry as an organization. They have very good records especially the Military ones but I never feel the need to scroll through peoples trees except when I was informed about my own by another concerned relative and discovered other instances of my ancestors being 'adopted'. I do not apologies for this copying without verifying is a very lazy way of researching ones family history and denies a person pleasure in the voyages of discovery, that is my opinion. And quite frankly my dear I do not give a fig if it ain't yours.

[Nick29]

LOL    At least my "pointless barbs" make sense.  I won't "demesne" your posts any more, promise ! 

[Sue in Aust]

Jan

I sympathise with you, I would find it very upsetting too.

My feeling about putting the death of someone's near and dear in a online tree within weeks of their death displays a great lack of respect and sensitivity to the family of the deceased and just because a person fits into someones tree it doesn't give them the right to publish details of their recent death without regard to the feelings their immediate family.

May I suggest it serves as a warning to all of us not to share details of living family, it only invites the problems you and many others are experiencing.

For the life of me I can't understand the necessity to pass on information on living family members, family history for me is just that history and as long as I'm alive and kicking I'm not putting myself or my nearest and dearest living family in anyone's family history file/online tree.

Sue