Hi JustKia,
When my sister-in-law had a still born child at over seven months into her pregnancy, she comforted herself through her loss by various things to remember Louise - they even 'adopted' a child in India who they send money to support through school, etc. All these things helped her, and her husband, through their tragic loss. I think it was probably harder for those outside the direct family to understand these things, than for those closer to her.
You're quite right that today often death is hidden away (good in some ways, but certainly not in others); we're expected to grieve in private and hold things in a bit. I wonder sometimes if other cultures deal with loss in a better way than we do.
In Victorian society death was always with them and I think the bit on the site (the one I
did check carefully) expressed their reasons quite clearly - and that is the reason I included it:
"What a comfort it is to possess the image of those who are removed from our site. We may raise an image of them in our minds but that has no the tangibility of one we can see with our bodily eyes."
Flora A Windeyer in a letter to Rev. John Blomfield, Nov 1870.
Maybe the medical authorities (midwives, etc) are starting to realise more now that grief is much better expressed in a natural way, rather than in the closed way of past decades. Perhaps the Victorians weren't quite as we
picture in some respects. We all need to deal with our grief in the way that is right for us; and as we all different we will do this in different ways.
Thank you for sharing this with us JustKia - I don't think any of us who hasn't lost a child can fully understand this awful loss. May your photos of your child continue to bring you much happiness and comfort.
Take care,
Paulene
